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Romney endorsed by Kid Rock, Nugent, Meatloaf. He's running for President of Your High School Wrestling Coach's Camaro.
Worst thing about Twitter? It's given people the sense it's OK to lecture a stranger about something. Then again, this is a lecture. Sorry.
Mike Huckabee's son hanged a stray dog at a boy scout camp in 1998 & carried a loaded gun onto a plane. Your move, Natalie Portman's fetus!
The Atlas Shrugged movie opens today. I think there's going to be a lot of cutting in line.
Romney at announcement wearing tie, no blazer. Ryan in blazer, no tie. HOLD ON TIGHT, AMERICA! [SFX: guitar shred]
The Zooey Deschanel Siri commercial is a lot more inspiring if you imagine she's been blind since birth.
Akin is carrying his campaign to full term.
Higgs Boson is the name of the villain on the next season of "Justified."
Mitt Romney says 47% of Americans are freeloaders. He's gonna win this thing on charm alone!
Horse meat in British Frozen Lasagna? IKEA meatballs? What a terrible day for people who love terrible Italian food!
This year's Puppy Bowl quarterback is dedicating the game to his girlfriend who just got put to sleep. Not buying it!
This latest update of Adobe Acrobat is going to be the game changer.
Happy 50th Birthday Chris Christie! Here, have a piece of cak--[arm torn off].
I've never read "To Kill a Mockingbird." Does it blow?
QUIT WASTING MY TIME! I need a REAL video of an eagle snatching a baby and I need it now!
It would be great if Peter Dinklage and Jon Hamm traded places for one episode.
BREAKING: North Carolina arrested in airport men's room sting.
Writer: The Jeselnik Offensive, The Daily Show w/ Jon Stewart, The Burn w/ Jeff Ross, lots of others. Happy now?