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Portlandia is Chapelle Show for white people.
Gonna breed the perfect dog: size of a greatdane, strenght of a pit & brains of a retriver, then going 2 ride it 2 the store 2 get more beer
Dear 10 year old me: today I watched a video of me petting my dog while petting my dog. The future was better than you ever imagined.
The reason I'm OK with Jordan's mustache is that Hitler would be real pissed that the only one allowed to wear it is a successful black man
It was a long and difficult journey but I finally have as many Tour de France wins as Lance Armstrong.
I know I'm drunk but seriuously guys... I love math.
"if we outlaw unjustified wars, then only outlaws will start unjustified wars" #bushbiography
ят ιf уσυ'яє σиє σf #1000birdiebers
Kind of sad that the closest thing kids have to Stand By Me nowadays is poking people posthumously on Facebook
Creep was originally a novelty song about Gollum from Lord of The Rings #radioheadfacts
INT. PITCHFORK OFFICES - NIGHT
A white DuMont TV showing Olympic gymnastics. A crowd forms.
The scoring system...flawless
u know that thing when a guy gets distracted by a pretty lady & almost hits the car in front of him? That was me now but w a really cute dog
RT if you just called your boss" dad" by accident while reading twitter and you're in your late 20s. Bonus points if she's not a dude.
guys, my girlfriend won't stop playing Skyrim and I just want to chill with some zinfandel and listen to Feist. #Where'smyCBSsitcom?
"Who reupholstered your tushy?" #kidsbop 2011