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  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    "What the hell is that...what the HELL is that?!" - Biggest loser male contestants acknowledging their penis for the first time.

    • 155
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryFredPollackjannyj82AspersioncastHaleys_Hell______DONTJIMMYMEJULZmanicsocraticCseashells
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    manicsocraticMHbellalunaUGotMeRightTheLewdDudeKouklamichelleUrbanDaveJaxAlaskan_Duderagekat
    UGotMeRight
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I was dating this girl from South Carolina for a while until I found out her mom drives a tractor in overalls topless. Now Im with her mom.

    • 170
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryCseashellsFredPollackjannyj82AspersioncastHaleys_Hell______DONTJIMMYMEJULZSpartacunt
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsdevils_discipleJustSusan13______Favstar500FavsChaStur218________ImaFlyontheWall
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    You can always tell when someone's new to Twitter. "Went to the mall today. It was fun!" It's not Facebook, tell us about titties and booze.

    • 130
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryCseashellsFredPollackAspersioncastHaleys_Hell______DONTJIMMYMEJULZSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    ChrisMyAssDudeHisBoyTank________teriberry11TheJackDMikeChris_HitchcockRaidersCfcBroncoPeytonjohnnynmbr5
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    Girlfriend's son: What's Twitter?
    Me: No, too soon. See, first you start with Myspace, then you join Facebook, and THEN you get Twitter.

    • 92
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryHaleys_Hell______AspersioncastDONTJIMMYMEJULZCseashellsSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__JRsully__________
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    nouisbizzletgmondalfmnccaraballodevils_discipleSmurfeFavstar500FavsJustSusan13_______BAKANO_
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    Whenever someone says "make yourself at home" I like to rearrange their furniture and kick their kids out.

    • 124
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryHaleys_Hell______AspersioncastDONTJIMMYMEJULZSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__JRsully__________KatarinaKriz
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    MizBlueBallsurbanrockerfavstar1000favslulusgirl888hunnisbonesaymomnexgymnastkarakazooBloodyEmeralds
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I don't yell at my OCD girlfriend when I'm mad at her, I just throw her box of pens on the ground.

    • 122
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryfinkelsteinoHaleys_Hell______BRantedKarlfly11I_am_RabbitMayhemCzarBoleyngirly
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    ColeMeyer134minealone6Karlfly11Morbid_Ashleyskullcatsmoved____KidsTheZeDaysChievygirlfavstar1000favs
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    When Mcdonalds informed me they've never served meatball sandwiches, I just replied "Are you McSerious? That's McBullshit!" And drove away.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryHaleys_Hell______AspersioncastDONTJIMMYMEJULZCseashellsSpartacuntcsecret7Cali420nia_Luke__
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    favstar1000favsGeniusAquarius1DoucheMcBaggusMizBlueBallsUR2BdominatedFavstar500Favsapplejuicejay08RaunchyDogMedia__
    ImaFlyontheWall
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    The best part about having trailer trash in your fam is bringing a laser pointer to reunions and watching Uncle Ted try to spot the sniper.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryAspersioncastDONTJIMMYMEJULZCseashellsSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__JRsully__________KatarinaKriz
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    MizBlueBallsCrackedIllusionmarimaricomcasttrialfemmeJennavaline______Favstar500FavsletsdancebitchsAlaskan_Dude
    ImaFlyontheWall
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    If Facebook gets a "poke" button, Twitter should get a "stab in the jugular" button.

    • 80
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryAspersioncastDONTJIMMYMEJULZCseashellsSpartacuntJRsully__________KatarinaKrizvxlk
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    BrownManLitedazzaDSImaFlyontheWallMihawkBloodbrownsfan1972mahrudyelhsaStanceofDogsKlasco
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I hate when you lose a pack of gum and the dryer is all, "You left it in these pants, fucktard."

    • 83
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryjannyj82AspersioncastSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__JRsully__________KatarinaKrizUGotMeRight
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    Camnlilli____Powerpuss_________Favstar500FavsWhoCuppedMyCake__WyLdAnIcAImaFlyontheWallfavstar_poptimberlyflowers
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    Nothing feels better than getting starfucked by someone you would actually fuck.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastSpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__JRsully__________KatarinaKrizLipglosslesboicustarmole______DoucheMcBaggus
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Bleeding_MUSEMizBlueBallsImKevinito________lulusgirl888geniusindisgizeFavstar500FavsDick_McIroncocknau_ghty1
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I would rather give Gary Coleman an extensive foot massage while listening to a Justin Bieber album than spend 20 seconds near a clown.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryAspersioncastCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizvxlkLipglosslesboicustarmole______MizBlueBalls
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsletsdancebitchsWhoCuppedMyCake__97cm3marimaricomcastImaFlyontheWallfavstar_popkickbackframi
    IRONNUMA
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I just received a request on Facebook to join Twitter. Even Facebook hates Facebook.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryjannyj82SpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizFSUSteve__deecoralCuntySmurf
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    Deanna2001ImaFlyontheWall1MusicFreakFavstar500FavsschumyxxxCrystal_Stackfavstar_poptollehaus
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    Honestly officer, its baby powder. My nose chafes easily being so far up your ass

    • 70
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizvxlkLipglosslesboicustarmole______MizBlueBallsImKevinito________
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favssouradeepchatt____XCuriousImaFlyontheWallChaStur218________SLJT06mingermale________disastrous007
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I hate it when I'm ridin' dirty, lookin' all gangster and my mom slams on the brakes and I spill my Sunny D on my new TMNT shirt.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryAmzedByU__________Cali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizvxlkicustarmole______ImKevinito________trialfemme
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    NikolaiV1981__Cali420nia_Luke__Favstar500FavsAshaAholicBILLigerentKlascoheidiarndt1800Randy
    1800Randy
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I like when people have code words for sex around kids. Mine is, "Wanna fuck?"

    • 62
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizFunnyInMyHeadFSUSteve__Lipglosslesboicustarmole______MizBlueBalls
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Crystal_StackLadyBrandiImaFlyontheWallFavstar500Favssouradeepchatt____johnkoralewski____
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    When a girl touches my hands and acknowledges my calluses, I laugh when she thinks it's from me "working."

    • 60
    • FAVS
    holypurgatorySpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKriztocancheu________icustarmole______ImKevinito________trialfemme
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    MizBlueBallsFavstar500Favshidingout2favstar_popmarimaricomcastWhoCuppedMyCake__ImaFlyontheWall
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I hate when people call me a closet alcoholic when really I'm more of an at the bar surrounded by several beautiful women alcoholic.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    holypurgatoryCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizvxlktocancheu________icustarmole______LicoriceNipples______madskills421
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsDoucheMcBaggussassylapdancerfavstar_popYer_ActualGTCImaFlyontheWallsophiasmercy____
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I like to send friend requests on Facebook and as soon as they accept it, I unfriend them because fuck Facebook.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    holypurgatorySpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizicustarmole______ImKevinito________trialfemmeford414__________
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    altered_eggoLiuaki58BiscayneBabenorm_towniSpeak_4_BeerjakesirishEllyDSLAGM13__
  • ChucksBitch
      Shenanigans @ChucksBitch

    I used to hate red lights. Now it gives me more time to tweet.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    holypurgatorySpartacuntCali420nia_Luke__KatarinaKrizapodixisvxlktocancheu________ECHSINN
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    ECHSINNdmc1138Favstar500Favssouradeepchatt____ImaFlyontheWallimaamishfanco____
@ChucksBitch

@ChucksBitch

I put hot sauce on my popcorn. I have a cat named Stanky. I once attempted to climb Mt. Everest but stayed home to masturbate instead.