@CinderellaJoey's (Joey Armstrong) most faved Tweets...
My son poked my fat stomach with his finger and called me 'Poke E Mom'.
Yeah, ha ha, I'm REALLLY gonna miss that kid.
Yeah, ha ha, I'm REALLLY gonna miss that kid.
Classmate: What do you call that tea that makes you feel better...is it chamomile?
Me: I call it Vicodin.
Me: I call it Vicodin.
Cnn just reported that 90% of Democrats approve of President Obama, and 85% of Republicans disapprove. Also, the Earth is still spinning.
I'm not up on ALL the teen lingo, but I'm pretty sure that "It's nice to meet you, Ma'am" is code for "Your daughter has great Mazungas".
When you star a tweet with a typo in it, it tells me that (A) you accept my faults, and (B) you're too wasted to notice.
Because I look really sexy in black, Hubs set his cellphone to ring the Darth Vader theme music whenever I call him.
Why yes, officer, it was self-defense. He came downstairs on my birthday and asked: "What's for dinner?"
I dreamt that I was standing in front of class with a see-thru blouse and no bra on. How embarrassing! Especially since nobody noticed.
If you want to boost your immune system without standing in line and paying $30 for a flu shot, stop by my house and lick all the doorknobs.
Twitter says I've got 0 zero followers right now, so I can say anything I want! BTW, I'm doing body shots off of my cat.
My kid got mad at me, and then un-friended me on facebook. Fine! She can get her OWN Cocoa Pebbles for dinner from now on.
The mountains looked like giant chocolate lava cakes with white powdered sugar on top. I sound like Kirstie Alley, don't I?
Albuquerque women are celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness with a bra parade. There's C cups, and D cups, and mine, the teacups.
I got a follower who tweets entirely in a different language so I have NO idea what they are saying. Oh! It's Bob Dylan. Nevermind.
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