@lgalaviz Ow do you know so much about swallows ?

You MUST be kidding. Fun?? Be ashamed. RT @quarterlifesam: Holy moly. Things are crazy (but fun!) here at the #Sandusky courthouse.

Where are all of the other dessert factories?

Happy Dew Year! RT @papasbasement: @citizenlav dick Clark's was more nimble

Tornado watch? Flash Flood? Screw that. It's girls night. St. Michael could be battling Satan with a flaming sword and my wife would be out.

@papasbasement I honestly could have taken losing to a superior team with our best stuff. DIdn't happen today. Hawks were ripe.

Has REM been contacted? RT @rhobluemont: "35 days until the end of the world as we know it"

@dongeronimoshow Glad to have you back, Radio god. DId you bring power?

@moneymetalcakes @ebjunkies @therealjpflaim Merry Christmas boys. Blessings on your families. Thanks for another great year of laughter.

Thank you! RT @jenthetech @aixelsyd13 @wpcoachz #ff #foodallergymomsarmy

Related: Tooth Fairy pumping iron 24/7 in preparation. RT @amorriswfed: GAO says switch to dollar *coins* could save $5.5B

You're just making names up now RT @granthpaulsen: Rocky McIntosh isn't on the field to start this drive. He's been replaced by Keyaron Fox

Made me laugh RT@klburke88: I just heard a 5 yr old say "what the poo?" lol

Did she refuse to fight another cheerleader? RT @crossingbroad: Haha Michael Vick almost killed a cheerleader

Ok Redskins, "Pass me tha Sugar!!"

I don't care if you are on twitter. It's "should HAVE done that". Not "should OF done that". Honestly people. #grammarpolice

Thanks for the #ff! RT @jenthetech: #ff the "bad" boys of the #foodallergydudearmy @aixelsyd13 @citizenlav @wpcoachz

It's not any sort of event unless I get to go home from work early. #dcearthquake

@laserswan You're a steel magnolia. Not a steel cactus.

My new hip hop group "C.W.A" (Commuters With Attitudes) will be releasing our first single: "F The Heat Index"