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I'm fascinated by the interplay of photons as they strike your beautiful face.
Not to brag but I'm pretty good at throwing shit at Christmas Carolers.
I am not going to be sober enough to figure out who is who under all of those Santa Hats.
Um... Ew, bitch.
A taser, but for people who act like Ebenezer Scrooge during the holidays.
I filled out a form as follows:
Marital status: Single. Not married. Not engaged. Not dating. Just fucking whoever I please.
Then I woke up
I'm not sexually frustrated.
I'm just knock kneed.
I had an awesome childhood, feel free to hate me!
Don't ever try and cram your bullshit down my throat unless you want me to throw it up in your face.
˙ʎzɐɹɔ ǝʌol oʇ pᴉɐɹɟɐ ǝq ʇ,uop
Women don’t like being told what to do unless they’re naked.