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Whispering into a beautiful ear and then dropping to the upper neck for a final attack.
I don't need you. I already have a fucking pussy.
Tickling someone in the right place can lead to remarkable reactions.
I think I wanna put my Pinterest into your myspace.
Sees a hot chicken crossing the road. *cat calls at chicken* "Nice tits, mama." Chicken uses telepathy and throws me around like a rag doll.
It’s hard being a loner when you’ve got a co-worker tied up and you need help lifting him into the dumpster.
Accounting for my day:
1) Work - 16hrs
2) Eating -10 mins
3) Family - 1hr
4) Twitter - 1hr
5) Sex - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Toilet plungers hanging around a hospital smoking pot. Ugh, typical.
I’m over Australians, Canadians, Americans, Europeans, S. Americans, Asians and Africans.
I found myself again at the bottom of a bottle of wine.
I hope cheerleaders know there are other shapes other than a pyramid. Like a circle or a Taj Mahal.
I love this tweet but twitter won’t let me re-RT it :(
Absolutely perfect cup to give today. #FF @x_redvelvet
Women don’t like being told what to do unless they’re naked.