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Comfort breeds complacency.
It’s not your iPhone’s battery that sucks…
I'm so proud of myself that I've *learned to tie a full Windsor knot in my tie.
*checked YouTube every single time
Usually when I’m wrong, it was the decision to walk somewhere instead of driving.
How about you just keep the Coleslaw and leave an empty space on my plate instead.
The worst side effect of alcohol is without a doubt close talking. Every bottle should come with a warning.
You can not control the things that happen to you; however, you can control your reaction to them.
Twitter: Treating Insomnia since 2006.
The problem with Life is that everyone’s definition of it is different.
Well, guy I’ve only met once who remembers my name, you win this round.
I have the rare and unique ability of being able to slow down time.
Yeah, I just sign off of Twitter.
Always be happy, but never be satisfied.
It was 96 degrees in Boston today.
Coincidentally, I lost the unspoken war with my roommate and finally filled the ice cube trays.