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Happiness is the only thing that matters in this fucking world. If you find it, hold on to it. If someone else finds it, don't take it away.
Hey girl, how much you wanna bet that my penis fits right in between those tittays? #BallsyPickUpLine
#ThatUsedToBeMyMyspaceSong "lips of an angel" by Hinder
Oh you're tired of me complaining about this god awful heat? Please go on & tell me about your failed relationships. #Cunts #GoFuckYourself
My life motto: "Doesn't matter; had sex"
You can buy happiness. It's $20/gram.
If internet porn gets banned, I quit.
Adventure Time takes up way too much of my schedule for me to consider myself "useful". #High
"I'm a hippie"
Oh really what kind of music do you listen to?
Go fuck yourself.
I'm never drinking again...not counting tonight
Give a girl love and she wants money; give a girl money and she wants love.
Fuck you, yellow popsicles that aren't banana flavored.
Former nickname The Mule, the first and only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County, and one hell of a model American. #KCCO #NSFW