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To all the girls who didn't get told goodnight. Shut up and go to bed. Merica.
We never had a Sharknado when Bush was President. Thanks Obama. Merica.
Ladies, if your boyfriend says he's afraid of guns, tell him you think it's time you both see other men. Merica.
Summer needs to slow down, but football season needs to hurry up. Merica.
Heard Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber in the face. He's the only fella who can hit a girl and become a worldwide hero. Merica.
I'm afraid of a world run by people who were never spanked as a kid and given a trophy just for participatin'. Merica.
If you don't have fun when you're young, you'll have nothin' to smile about when you're old. Merica.
Girls who wear American flag attire are 1776% more attractive than those who don't. It's science. Merica.
Heard a fat kid say obesity runs in his family. Stone Cold stunnered him, dropped a puddin' cup & said,"Nobody runs in your family. Merica."
Wishin' I was fishin'. Merica.
No matter how big your bank account is, how new your truck is, or how big your house is. Our graves will be the same size. Be humble. Merica
On this day 100 years ago, World War I began. Millions gave their lives to make the world a better place. Remember the fallen. Merica.
Male model. Lost every fight I've ever been in. Born to lose. Merica.