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If you step on my flag, there’s a 1776% chance I want to step on your throat. Merica.
Forget finals. It’s Cinco de Drinko, not Cinco de Thinko. Get turnt, not learnt. Merica.
I'll take the Fourth of July over Cinco de Mayo all day, every day. And twice on Sunday. Merica.
Ran ouside naked 'cept for a sombereo. Shotgunned a margarita, scissor kicked a piñata & yelled, "Cinco de Mayo? More like Cinco de Merica."
Justin Verlander has a 100 MPH fastball, a $180 million contract, a pet tiger and he's engaged to Kate Upton. God loves him more. Merica.
Forget May the Fourth. The only Fourth I care about is the Fourth of July. Independence Day, baby. Merica.
I think it’s funny when people compare Donald Trump to Hitler. Did Trump ever kill anybody?
No, but Hillary did.
May is Military Appreciation Month. But this is America. Every month should be Military Appreciation Month.
Male model. Lost every fight I've ever been in. Born to lose. Merica.
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