Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I keep hitting the re-fresh button but somehow my life is still old, stale and rotten.
If it isn't funny or sexy, ask yourself if it really needs to be said.
Why complain about something that changes constantly like the weather when your life is sitting right there?
I Hate this RECESSION! I Am Now blowJOBLESS!!!!!!
Growing up in a dysfunctional family does have some upside, I can drink a lot.
*interrupts someone's workout*
'Haha yo, you gotta checkout my mom's status on Facebook'
No need to tell us all how much of an idiot you are, just hit Reply-To-All.
You could at least have taken me to dinner before you fucked me.
It wasn't a real typo; it was just a punctuation typo. Nobody sees those.
Follow me. Unfollow me. Block me. Whatever. It's your twitter so I congratulate you on making your own decisions.
Tweeting is kind of like bobbing for assholes.
I only really want to be someone's twitter crush so that they retweet me all the time.
You'll always be unhappy because your expectations are unrealistic.
Guys, take your underwear ALL the way off during sex. Nothing says "I just need a quickie" more than simply pulling them to the side.
You know what I like about you? No? Yeah, me either.
Stuck between desire and compromise
Ugh I can't stand friends that only come to your house to drink all your wine.
lol jk I don't have any friends.
*Drinks pineapple juice*
*Winks at you*
Hide my demons inside of you. I can't handle them alone anymore.
lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating....because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything.