I thought I was at a Nikki Minaj concert for 20 min until I realized I was watching a homeless person scream at a pigeon.

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

I don't regret burning bridges. I do regret that some people weren't on them when they burned.

Leviticus 20:13 "if a man lays with another man he should be stoned."
In other words legalize gay marriage and marijuana. #preach #truths

Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.

Your beliefs don't make you a better person. Your behavior does.

@dixie_lee_peas I'm gay and I'm STILL a boob guy

"Go to hell" you say ?
Before I was born I was forged inside a supernova.
How hot can your hell be ?

Groove is in the heart.
So is cholesterol.

Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly "You can see me !?"

Talking to you is like having to slap the TV a few times to get the picture.

I may not be your cup of tea, but that's fine. I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey anyway.

I want my muffins buttered and English.
Just like my men.

It's 12 fucking degrees. I've got my Wednesday and Thursday underwear on.

If you're going to be a dick, at least be a dick to my face.

French press coffee has a higher cholesterol due to the fats not being absorbed by the paper filter during the brew process.




Boobs.

I don't judge or hate anyone. I save those for myself.

To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe.

@shesallnat because hurricanes are a bitch. Now a tornado ... that is a man on a drunken rampage looking for the remote.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.