Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Sure you Yanks 'ave a black president but when are we Brits gettin' a black James Bond?
Malibu beach bobbies gave me a ticket for not wearin' a bafink suit—blimey, I fought I 'ad enough tattoos ter go wivout!
The space shuttle 'as captured the imagination of millions: like 'as any astronaut wanked off in space & would it frow fings off course?
I don't do push-ups. I undo push-ups!
After lookin' fer 5 days I found me car keys—now I need ter find me bleedin' car!
Got a black eye on Sunset Blvd. but I learned me lesson: next time aim the bleedin' champagne cork out the car window!
Half moon in Malibu tonite 'cause I could only fit half me bare bum out the bloomin' window of me Range Rover.
TMZ exposed me secret sex attic problem—Malibu fire dept. says me sex attic can't be occupied by more 'n 50 persons.
Edible panties are high in vitamin C-hair.
Why are Yanks so worried 'bout mixin' Drinkin' wiv Drivin'—but not 'bout Religion wiv Politics?
Why's it called XXX Summer Olympics, then? Wotchin' ladies volleyball for an 'our—not once did I spot any girl-on-girl!
Cheeky cashier gave me change wivout makin' eye contact like a hooker 'andin' me a tissue!
At Nicholas Canyon Beach watchin' Game of Thongs.
Can't 'ave kids 'cause me Doc finks I'm shootin' blanks—me ex-ole lady sez it's cuz I keep missin' the target!
Yanks worry more 'bout droppin' F-bombs on telly than real bombs on blokes. Blimey!
Not 'aving a Favver's Day that I know of.
Rolling Stone once called me drum solo on HARD LANDING "masturbatory." See Mum? All me hard practice behind locked doors paid off!
At me age, know a bit of blokes 'oo've faced prostate cancer—some at chin level.
Played fousands of gigs & laid fousands of birds—got the bloomin' 'rhoids & polaroids ter prove it!