Yobagoya the taste will destroy ya, best bucket of beef in Illinois-ya

Filing for divorce from school on the grounds of spousal abuse. I keep getting raped by finals.

Consider how satisfying it would be to create chaos on Black Friday. I'm not above hitting an old man.

@lincs320 Are you talking about the movie based on the Steven Grisham novel of the same title???

The choice to go to Waffle House supercedes most decisions in life.

If you've never heard billy smith laugh then you haven't lived.

Tough first half in Oxford. Luckily, the patron behind me, who is short of sober, has the proper solution for an Ole Miss victory.

@lee_tharp @halle_layne @tkcrosswhite No me gusta cuando Lee traduce con "Google Translate".

We literal. Err day. #standup

If dedication were the name of the game, @zach_riot, would single handedly win MM. He has yet to cease dancing in the library. #MM2012

I heard a sour note. Get back in your first block. #tweetsduringchapel

@uberfacts stop tweeting the same facts. If you don't have anything new to tweet, don't tweet anything at all.

In case you're wondering Nickelback and Shinedown made a song. It rewrote history and broke the scales of Toolism. @lee_tharp @tkcrosswhite

As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.

Roger Hale just blew my mind. Best devo ever!

If you ever speak ill of Reagan again I'll smack those teeth straight.

Trying to quit all american rejects cold turkey is like trying to refrain from hitting a beach ball at a nickelback concert.

Listening to kids talk about their service experience. I firmly believe these kids WILL be making a difference. @goisgood