Going dark...see ya

Either our landlords are playing "Rock Band" or they're super drunk tap dancing

I once got a big pack of Lipsmakers for xmas. I'm pretty sure I had 2 inches of balm on my lips from going "MMM maybe this flavour!"

So I read my tweets from last night... I'm sorry folks.

I'm giving up beer for a week. I give it 24 hours.

I have a feeling if Tips could talk he'd sound like Bobcat Goldthwait.

I'm about to go to bed. This is the time where Dead Dad's alcoholism would shine through

Trevor: Why is the only retweet I have from a pervert?? Me: Welcome to Twitter.

Classmate just after Dad died: That's a man's watch Me: That was my dad's watch Classmate: Silence... Me: Victory..

Yes, I have 2 dads. 1's Brian and the other's Dead Dad. We don't like Dead Dad. I have a full team of lawyers for Dead Dad

I have never gotten high.. Is this as far as I will get on Twitter because of it?

I got 60+ followers this afternoon. But that was this afternoon. Where are my new friends now??

@ford414 Yayyyyy

We were just playing a beer game and it came out my nose... good game. Trevor:That's what she said.

I laugh at recipes with only a little garlic. I usually triple the amount

I don't understand your hatred for SJP. I'd feed her a sugar cube any day

I have 3 sides of my family. I don't talk to the dead dad's side so I have a normal amount of family

@swollenvoice Left their icing all over you didn't they?

@myheadsaysthis @confuselush Oh he is... he's into this kinda shit

@confusedlush @myheadsaysthis Awww Twitter love. Y'all'd be so cute together