Seal is only about three things: 1) His power. 2) His pleasure. 3) His pain.

I kind of want to go to Scream Fest but also I could just walk around Forest Lawn for twenty minutes, get twice as scared and save 20 bucks.

Autumn starts only when the Family Channel starts playing the Halloween Town movies

Drunk sledding is the most important part of all Canadian winters.

I'm getting a tattoo of Bart Simpson, and a tattoo that just says FIDLAR. My parents are gonna be bummed

Abercrombie and Fitch's CEO only wants cool kids wearing their clothes. When was the last time you saw a Cool kid wearing A&F tho? 2007?

The old dude from Storage Wars is presenting Best Picture!

Moe Bahri crying in his rap is the funniest thing ever. HE'S DRAKLEMORE

A lot of my friends are getting jobs and applying to schools and getting into relationships while I'm just sitting here watching Netflix.

How many RTs until daddy loves me? Please RT

I'm making a documentary in the fashion of "Premium Rush" where I just drive around down town trying to kill any bike couriers I see

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start is the cheat code to touch a vagina right?

Winky faces are the international emoticon of Thirsty dudes ;)

I heard Morgan is just moderately sized in Japan #TinyWeen

Central Memorial Athletics: Calgary's drunkest highschool cheering section 10 years running!

Thinking about faking my own death so I can sleep more

It's so weird to me that people actually want to hang out with my friends and I. Do they not realize we're the worst sort of losers?

SHE GOT A BIG BRAIN SO I CALL HER SMALL BOOTY

Reasons to vote for Barack Obama: 1) Mitt Romney

If you didn't spend like 2 months of your life heavily involved in Habbo Hotel you ain't 'bout this life bruh.