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  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I determine whether something is a fruit or vegetable based on if I would put it in a smoothie. Chocolate is a fruit. So is vodka.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    Houston_BassMindless4MilesDixieTheCelloLastMermaid__LjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2
    • 84
    • RETWEETS
    CatFloraScharfDixieTheCelloelisabethleighLastMermaid__HalbeerzHot_MamaTonnaDrumDemon0922_Ellsie_
    Halbeerz
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't even believe that Canada exists.

    • 95
    • FAVS
    Houston_BassMindless4MilesLjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2jimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Mlaf2469MostHatedFriendMVernacatolaKippo44morgannejadeI_DisdainBEEAAARRjoeyhuggles______
    CarolinaSong
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I'm no doctor, but alcohol sure makes me think I am.

    • 91
    • FAVS
    Houston_BassMindless4MilesLjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2dreamthievinLalaHash
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MilesinahcortezFOBonzoBeckettLjayHAMScorpio1080jimandrewsmusicdennisnathanshiori_11eyes
    DukeOfOyl________
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Fucking ten year olds shirt read "Noone cares about your tweets." Imma fuck a bitch up.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2jimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____ChiefTwittlerlaffytakky
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    LindseyEllison2joeyhuggles______Favstar_NSFWBassantDessoukiReality_Bytes1gavinpivott2PLANESthe_kizzle
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    My cat was cleaning his bro's ear and then I said "aww" and he looked at me like "shut the fuck up" and I said sorry and he proceeded.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    brainihacLizzieBorden83____Mindless4MilesLjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2dreamthievin
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MilesFavstar_NSFWrainingwillow5haeljunetheevil______Torontoker________the_kizzle__raygun
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I have an addictive personality and I am a hands on thinker. And that is why there is a kilo of cocaine in the trunk, officer.

    • 61
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______frackthisbsDeanPackisLindseyEllison2jimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    cuntgatsbyLindseyEllison2Favstar500FavsMaynani__________SonOfChamrtruthandsoulCarolinaSongMidgetspar
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Lady in front of me on the train, if you don't speak in English on your phone then I can't eavesdrop on you. C'mon.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    brainihacLizzieBorden83____Mindless4MilesLjayHAMSolelyBThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2dreamthievin
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MileslaffytakkyFavstar500Favschubbbypanda______mrtruthandsoulthe_kizzleRorNotRedCarolinaSong
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I hate committing to things like obeying the law.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    Mindless4Milessuzsk8LjayHAMThe_Dorkster______frackthisbsDeanPackishowe007LindseyEllison2
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    inahcortezFOLjayHAMhowe007LindseyEllison2DukeOfOyl________DanyelllsssCarolinaSongFknAngie
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Don't think I'm not crazy enough to manually go through and find out which four of you unfollowed me and then guilt trip you to the grave.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMThe_Dorkster______LindseyEllison2dreamthievinjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____AnthAKAshwayzepritamJAYKAR
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    DukeOfOyl________ashplsokbijprizzzCarolinaSongKippo44Henry_3kpineywoozlechrismhaddix
    Kippo44
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    You can never follow too many Australians.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMThe_Dorkster______ChrisBerrittaDeanPackisLindseyEllison2jimandrewsmusicDukeOfOyl________ashplsok
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    LindseyEllison2Ophoenix1________MsGreenGoddessqueenoftheredSRbetatrevwasherezolosoldierkidphonic
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Found a new thing to do when I get bored: Google cults in my city.So now I feel especially safe leaving the house.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    Mindless4MilesLjayHAMjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____ashplsokOncefallen________chubbbypanda______noblepeter
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Kippo44CarolinaSongJimmerThatisAllthe_kizzleGorrdano
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I'm really lacking on the meth jokes. Sorry guys. I've been too busy eating my scabs.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    Mindless4MilesLjayHAMdreamthievinjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____DukeOfOyl________thefakeshenryOncefallen________
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MilesArtConDeeMyCoalBarros______the_kizzleGorrdano
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    The internet wants me to be a lesbian, with all of these hot singles in my area.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMdreamthievinjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____DukeOfOyl________ashplsokthefakeshenryOncefallen________
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    miss_ogyny________the_kizzlefavstar_popgrumpygumptionTheGrandClericCarolinaSongMyCoalBarros______
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Also hate when you can't use proper grammar because your tweet exceeds the character count.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____DukeOfOyl________ashplsokOncefallen________chubbbypanda______CeLeStIaLPhEnYx
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    lalenguafuerteMaynani__________SonOfChaNotVeryTrillVimm3lCarolinaSongItmustbLeeRoy__pineappleiheart
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I figure that if I order enough pizza, eventually one of the pizza delivery boys will have sex with me.

    Maybe I watch too much porn.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    Mindless4MilesLjayHAMdreamthievinjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____DukeOfOyl________ashplsokToy_A101
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    bijprizzzCarolinaSongBarbiturateCatbarcasunshine____transversecity____TheJoeCooperSSDatedPrincessBuckeye
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I just want to be someones "baddest bitch" and if that's too much to ask for then I guess this world really is fucked up.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    brainihacLizzieBorden83____Mindless4MilesLjayHAMdreamthievinjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____DukeOfOyl________
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MilesChillGrizzthe_kizzleHenry_3kbellaxmortemeownicoleeCatnapMavenCarolinaSong
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I don't get people who DON'T want to have sex.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____5haelKippo44MVernacatolaBasstardy________Richard_Keep
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    drizzy_morayinahcortezFOLjayHAMnxtmrsbrandWhrTheBrainRots__adamKieranrogue_dead_guycjs3471
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    Public transit. That's it. That's the joke.

    • 25
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____pritamJAYKARDukeOfOyl________ashplsoksweetsunbeam8____Oncefallen________
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    DukeOfOyl________Sexi_Mexi724SilverBadgerd0ldrumzchubbbypanda______SirrruhsarahbeanersChristi_Q________
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I believe my trust issues started when I was eight and my drunken auntie walked in on me peeing , after I had locked the door.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    Mindless4MilesLjayHAMjimandrewsmusicCocaine_Burger____pritamJAYKARDukeOfOyl________ashplsokOncefallen________
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Mindless4MilesDukeOfOyl________mrtruthandsoul
  • Constantshock
      no @Constantshock

    I'm really good at ignoring people and really bad at being confronted.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMThe_Dorkster______jimandrewsmusicDukeOfOyl________ashplsokOncefallen________kybocumbersomeone
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    inahcortezFOLjayHAMStevieRay0420the_kizzlehighxpectation2gingerweeds______CarolinaSongMostHatedFriend
@Constantshock

@Constantshock

Alcohol is only a problem if you don't have enough of it.