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That awkward moment between your birth and your death.
Tyler Perry isn't funny, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, Nickelback sucks and fat people go to Walmart.
Now where are my retweets?
Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn't want to live there.
I carved your name into a public restroom in a town you've never been to. God, it's so hard to love you.
This next song is called "I Have $15 to Last Me Until Friday" from my new record "How Am I Gonna Pay For Gas"
You're cute and we should go on breakfast dates and do irresponsible things together. #seriously
Today is a historic day for Pennsylvania. Fuck yes.
Maybe you're having so much trouble "getting bitches" because you still call women bitches
This week marks 18 months with Ash AND 5 years clean of self harm. SHOUT OUT TO MY HATERS, YOU CANT SEE ME 💁💁💁
Girls, if a guy wants to hang out with you, he's romantically interested and/or wants to fuck you. Don't be naive.
About to pull this 11 hour shift at Staples. Catch me by the binder wall, in the fetal position, yelling about back to school savings.
When you accidentally like a photo when you're 2 months into someone's Instagram
Fuck your gender roles, there's no such a thing as a "girly" drink and also iced lattes are fucking delicious
Don't slut shame, be proud of the ladies out there slayin' the D
In 2009 my 1st band had a song called "When Life Hands You Lemons, Squeeze Them In Your Ex-Girlfriend's Eye" and I can't ever take that back
People who don't follow back literally bum me out so much. I just wanna be your friend, homie.
My sister's boy's coming over & she asked if I "could not be in the house for a few hours," and this is way too much reality for me today