That awkward moment between your birth and your death.

Tyler Perry isn't funny, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, Nickelback sucks and fat people go to Walmart.

Now where are my retweets?

Reality is a lovely place but I wouldn't want to live there.

I hate when people say "I hate the Poconos, here's so much drama here!" BITCH THERE IS DRAMA EVERYWHERE , BECAUSE YOURE A SLUT

You're cute and we should go on breakfast dates and do irresponsible things together. #seriously

18 followers from 600.
HEY ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT THAN GUYS AND ARENT BACON BEER AND BOOBS GREAT HA RELIGION AND POLITICS!

Girls, if a guy wants to hang out with you, he's romantically interested and/or wants to fuck you. Don't be naive.

#ThingsILikeAboutMyself pic.twitter.com/kVJPzH3J

SO THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME http://t.co/zZq4hWuM

This is my favorite part of Sunday Nights, I like to call it "wallowing in self-pity and dreading tomorrow."

L-O-S-E IS TO NOT FUCKING WIN. L-O-O-S-E IS NOT TIGHT OR SECURE. FUCK

Amazing how science can put a man on the moon, yet I still can't fold a fucking t-shirt correctly.

I obviously don't have anything against partying but if your entire life revolves around getting drunk, examine your fucking life.

I don't understand how college students, especially college females, can vote for Romney.

If you think it's "morally wrong" to allow two people who love each other to marry, then you don't actually have morals.

The only thing I'm really good at is making really bad decisions.

You aren't a fucking bunny, you aren't a cat, you're a skirt with $5 ears.

I hate you if you take pictures blowing smoke out of your mouth, but especially if you're a 15 year old girl blowing smoke out of your mouth

It's really hard to be a teenage girl, according to my timeline.

Everyone misses someone more than they would like to admit.