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FACT: The only 3D element in Justin Bieber's "Never Say Never" is Paramount's long hard cock fucking you out of $22 dollars and 89 minutes.
There's nothing more satisfying than your windshield wipers wiping to the beat of the song you're listening to. NOTHING. Not even TRUE LOVE.
Somewhere off the 405, Ben Affleck & Liv Tyler are laying in a grassy field, eating animal crackers & listening to Aerosmith. #Carmageddon.
I think M. Night Shyamalan should direct the "Entourage" movie. That way the shittiest shit can be shittly directed by a piece of shit.
Louis C.K. deals with a heckler...and the aftermath. CHECK IT: http://tinyurl.com/35b4mar
Hey! 'm looking to get in contact with young novelists/writers with work they're looking to publish. If you are one, lemme know. PLEASE RT.
BREAKING NEWS! THIS JUST IN! President Obama currently high-fiving everybody!
It feels wrong masturbating on Thanksgiving but I'm doing it anyway. By the way, my dogs name is Thanksgiving.
Before you make an insensitive Aprils Fools Day joke remember that some people have no choice and they are fools every day of the year.
This is how excited @mintzplasse and I are for JACK & JILL: http://t.co/85xRyykG”
Justin Bieber is set to play young Ashton Kutcher in a movie produced by Will Smith. Oh I can't wait to see this personal little indie film!
"YOU'RE SO HOT..." A FUNNY OR DIE video I co-wrote with the talented & gorgeous @mintzplasse. It's NSFW but seriously -- fuck your job.
I drunkenly emailed myself this last night: "Fucking write it, Cope. Stop being a coward." No idea what IT is & why I'm so mean to myself.
Who's your favorite conductor? John Williams or Denzel Washington from the movie "Unstoppable"?
Sometimes all you need is good music, good friends, financial stability, emotional fortitude, a good grasp on your mortality, a car, love...
Thinking about killing yourself? Watch this video I made with @heyazzy & @themitchrouse and think again. http://tinyurl.com/8fbkrk8
A short I wrote and directed featuring @pscarlyle & @danlippert is on the front page of @funnyordie. SO RAD. Check it: http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/76f3
writer/actor/guy who is pretty stoked on life
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