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I want Chris Pratt's body.
The world needs a real hero. The world needs a "Saving Silverman" sequel.
"Sex is like cereal, it's better when it's dry!" - a guy who has never had sex or eaten cereal
fuck cold soups, man
Someday VERY SOON our President will be a guy who owned more than one Sum 41 album.
I had no idea being single was like 70% taking and sending selfies.
Can't wait to see the scene in the new Star Wars where Adam Driver uses The Force to make a storm trooper sexily crawl on all fours to him.
My autocorrect changed 'chill as fuck' to 'chill as dick' which I actually think is chill as dick.
You should feel fortunate that your name isn't Randy Sundial.
FUCK THIS STUPID ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE JUST DONATE THE MONEY.
I can't wait for Halloween. I've already got my first alcoholic dad from "Boyhood" costume hanging in my closet.
Just watched "The Canyons" & lemme tell you Lindsay Lohan's still got it! And when I say it, I mean visible herpes barely covered by makeup.
She looked into my eyes & I looked into hers & as we kissed Len's "Steal my Sunshine" started to play & I knew summer had officially begun.
It's great that your name isn't Mr. Bagel Richardson.
There is a VERY emotional Nutella commercial playing in front of SNL clips on YouTube if you're looking for a good little cry.
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