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I just bought a boat with my swear jar.
Sometimes I think, "What would Pat Robertson do?" and then I slap my wife for serving me lukewarm coffee.
No journalist has ever said, "Good thing that guy left that vitriolic comment -- now I know how much I suck."
60% of Ottawa residents are currently in line at the Ikea cafeteria
I find I save a lot of time getting ready by not going anywhere.
Today's temperature will be hovering around cold as balls, with a slight chance of hell no later on 💦❄☔
Great weekend! 5 shows, ending on a big crescendo. Like Brian Eno said: “Rock & roll is the only time you can crash and burn and walk away.”
28 years ago my mom rolled the dice on one of the biggest gambles a 20-year-old could possibly make. Thanks – all went better than expected.
Yes, I pasted it in.
Yes, it was exactly correct.
And, yes, Apple: you increasingly make me feel like I'm losing my fucking mind.
Andrew and I decided to start work on a Dragonfly-related project that you guys are seriously not even going to believe. Hell, I barely do.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you - Oscar Wilde