MT @andreagillies Man at front of Starbucks queue is asked his name for the takeaway cup. Man further back shouts "Don't tell them, Pike!"

Got a fellow Tweeter in distress here. Anyone have experience of long term caring for a stroke patient willing to DM? #stroke #carers

You've sent me straight back into the arms of Labour, crying & begging for forgiveness for being thick and naive #NHSBill #LostVotes #LDConf

Wouldn't everything be great if we were all a bit nicer to each other?

Sneaky bastards RT @rhodri: The BBC just reported: thesunonsunday.co.uk and thesunonsunday.com were registered two days ago.

Things I have learned today. 1, I can fit a whole brownie in my mouth in one go. 2, mnumnph nghumphy mmmhm

I have just had notice that I am no longer unemployed. I have had my business plan approved.  http://www.jpassmorehandmade.co.uk  *cough cough*

Norwegian National Youth Orchestra playing for FREE at 4pm on Saturday in Mile End Art Park. Go and listen to music please

Evil cow RT @simonnricketts: Margaret Thatcher's role in plan to dismantle welfare state revealed  http://gu.com/p/3cmfa/tw 

Ooh hope? RT @suey2y: PLEASE RT THIS : THERE IS STILL COMMITTEE STAGE AND 3RD READING. THERE IS STILL A LONG WAY TO GO #saveournhs

I made a shop, it has badges in it at the moment  http://www.jpassmorehandmade.co.uk 

@gary_bainbridge I'm hoping Obama bangs on about how brilliant the NHS is and how much he admires it, and Cameron has a cry and a rethink

Mr doing Lands End to John O'Groats by bicycle. Tonight he hopes to be in Truro if anyone could offer bed or garden for small tent?

If anyone uses the word invertising at me again, I will personally mergerate them with bonding twine to the Olympic flarificator

Traffic cones knackered after a hard night protecting the capital's roads http://twitpic.com/64e0q7

Absolute guff. Same time next year? #eurovision

Will you lot be quiet please? Some of us are trying to watch Big Brother

It has been decided that Magnums are a fruit because they have a woody stem made from tree

A few people couldn't see this in Lockerz, so here is my cousin's dog in Twitpic instead http://t.co/3M6sT4Bc

Moths are wankers