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Quick! Someone! I need an intervention. I've listened to The National for 5 hours and I'm so sad now I can't even make dinner.
A man just asked, very seriously, if there was an app to translate from cat to human. We felt kind of sad about having to say no.
My husband is trying to convince me that Hall & Oates are awesome. I'be accidentally married a homosexual, guys.
Are you a hypochondriac when you consider visiting a doctor and your chief complaint is "yawning much more than usual"? Asking for a friend.
I just gave a really inspiring speech about how much I love twitter and feel like it has value. I am a convert.
What flavor is Mountain Dew trying to be? All I'm coming up with over here is "old mop water".
Booze plus wii bowling = me throwing expensive electronics into bowls of spinach dip. I need a time out.
Why won't Moby hang out with me?
Someone at this bus stop is dancing like no one is watching! Sadly, about ten people are watching. And laughing.
i think whiskey is a health tonic, and that explains my poor choices but also my optimism. I might take my pants off in your kitchen.