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Quick! Someone! I need an intervention. I've listened to The National for 5 hours and I'm so sad now I can't even make dinner.
"I like this emoticon. It tells people I'm fun, and here to party." -my co-worker talking to himself just now. It was this emoticon :v
A man just asked, very seriously, if there was an app to translate from cat to human. We felt kind of sad about having to say no.
My husband is trying to convince me that Hall & Oates are awesome. I'be accidentally married a homosexual, guys.
Are you a hypochondriac when you consider visiting a doctor and your chief complaint is "yawning much more than usual"? Asking for a friend.
"So I need your computer....In a moment....don't look at me. I forgot to do up my pants." I had too much cough syrup at work today.
i think whiskey is a health tonic, and that explains my poor choices but also my optimism. I might take my pants off in your kitchen. Space pimp extraordinaire.