Somewhere George Orwell is shouting "It was a warning, not a manual, you assclowns!" #TimeToStopReadingTheNews

Sometimes you're Godzilla and sometimes you're Tokyo.

@snipeyhead I can't count how many times I told those folks my real info - I'm Londo Molari, Centauri Ambassador to Babylon5.

Dear Facebook denizen: The time to try to "friend" me was during the 13 years we spent going to school together.

"Once the pin is removed, Mr Grenade is no longer your friend."

Wondering if @joshcorman or @csoandy has one of these up in his office yet... #Zombies http://t.co/nS0HEYG

Put the glass down and step away from the Kool-Aid. Close your eyes until the reality distortion field is fully powered down.

@shrdlu They're still kittens - by the time you skin and debone there's not enough to count as a meal left.

My boss has no sense of humor. She made me replace "Here there be Dragons" with "The Internet" on the network map I sketched out.

If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.

The idea of the Feds taking the lead in CyberSecurity is laughable - unless the first step is getting their own damn house in order.

"My zombie child ate your honor student's brain". - Bumper sticker seen on tonight's walk around the neighborhood

I had someone DM me that I had typo'd when I typed "Westboro *Batshit* Church" earlier today. I asked them what they thought the error was.

The odds are that Weev will get more jail time than the Steubenville rapists. There's something fundamentally wrong with that.

@red_velvet91 Yes. Then I'd go hunt down his boss and explain to $Manager why $trainer is writhing on the mats.

Amazing how many job postings list "excellent written communications" as a requirement, and are horribly written. Some don't even parse.

Bear's temp is normal ithout any additional fever reducer today, and he's eating. We may be looking at recovery. @kitiaratomsen

Give someone a fish, they eat for a day. Teach someone to fish and their wife kicks your ass.

From the archive: The Geek's third rule: It will take longer than "that" for any stated value of that.

I once again put forward this proposal for budget cutting: Start with those departments with the most Orwellian names and show no mercy.