& none for Gaga Weiners.

Nude http://t.co/pncbJEKA

Call me racist if you want, but black people don't tip.

I'm dying of laughter right now. I can't breathe pic.twitter.com/jOjCypfM

Who else likes to urinate on the side of the toilet bowl so it's not noisy?

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

Ugh I'm so over Teresa covering up her own insecurities & calling everyone else insecure! #RHONJ

Idk what it is but I just wanna throw tomatoes at my tv when Mariah speaks. #AmericanIdol

Luke, I am your father's boyfriend. Your dad's a bottom.

I hate people that say, "We have a history."

They should really just say, "We used to fuck each other but now it's really awkward."

KE$HA is what happens when a Lisa Frank sticker comes to life and develops a substance abuse problem

Walmart: because going to Target requires a shower.

Shaving your balls is cool and all until it grows back and turns your sack into an evil, jealous cactus that stabs your dick at every chance

Being tan makes me confident.

My sweet cotton candy girl. #Xfactor

pic.twitter.com/E8T2IMwb

Love this pic of obama http://t.co/rCbpXCj1”

Your 20s are all about finding out who you are. And that is exactly what I'm doing.

#celebritythatiwanttomeet Shaved Head Britney

I wish people would quit bitching about the new Facebook changes & realize there's starving kids in Africa who still use MySpace.