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Now, sit down and let me do a line off your boner
You guys are all fucking weirdos. It's amazing.
When I was a teenager, my friend pulled out freezepops, & said, "Ok, we're gonna put these in our vagina's now."
Buffalo Bill could never kidnap me, cause if I saw some guy with a cast, struggling to lift a couch, it wouldn't even cross my mind to help
I will bang every single australian person. I don't even care.
Who gives a fuck if its 10-10-10? Somewhere in the world it's 10-11-10 so that doesn't really mean shit, you cunts
Oops! I dropped my magnum condom that I use for my massive dong
I knew I loved you since the first time you showed me how to cut someone's carotid artery so they'd bleed out in 4 minutes.
When I have to write my final on who I am as a person, I'm not going to censor anything. Drugs, porn, time travel, war paint, drugs.
#poems Roses are red, violets are blue, they'll need dental records to identify you
I did a 30 minute positive affirmation meditation today. It was crazy!
Get ready to have your dreams dashed little kids, because life is awful. And drugs are awesome.
If you don't like kittens, then you can get the fuck out of my life
Are you near NYC and need something to do on Apr 1st? Why not attend the April Fool's Charity Fashion Show?
Fuck Jeff Goldblum
Read about @karenelson_'s trip to Sierra Leone, and sign the petition or make a donation!
Carissa. Blue-haired runway photographer. 65 year old in a 25 year old's body. Moonlight meditator. This is not my home planet. 333. firstname.lastname@example.org