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  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Twitter is the pillow we scream into.

    • 1,024
    • FAVS
    calluptomeZeDbra_BorgLoganRayTylershybonerslemmywinklerJaneBadallsarahyehia82mr_bryen
    • 712
    • RETWEETS
    ERiCAWANDERLUSTmarlogirlOhhShickweam_MTKayteaWardMeehaxNC__Cowgirlwiscofarmerskid
    travisauruss______clindsaysway
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

    • 509
    • FAVS
    djr_102CaribbePirate76brainsdocLoveNLunchmeatMcOnionButtGregHenchmanSandyEggoMonkrawrcynic
    • 322
    • RETWEETS
    brainsdocMcOnionButtInThaBurbsspazrunsnyStephanieRoetsOn_DvergeProfessor_Ryannonster7
    AShotOfSouthMichael_MaybeEureekaHavoc
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Twitter Lessons:

    1: Every woman likes anal
    2: Stalking is okay
    3: Smoking pot is normal
    4: Always swallow
    5: We’re all bi
    6: Pity is real

    • 539
    • FAVS
    djr_102ourshanesucksonesmartblondi__BO33YBINGOLowbornejodo121urgeekisshowingdirtylovincoupl
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    urgeekisshowingLackOfShameJordansMassacrelivebeat_365Ndeshi_MKingoftheValarscotch3554UnIxphysco
    KimKardashsToeEvilPandaX
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    I put my sweatpants on just like every one else.. With absolutely no intention to sweat at all unless its over heating while I lay in bed.

    • 485
    • FAVS
    djr_102livebeat_365Ndeshi_MCaribbePirate76gaggedwithspoonscotch3554ParamedicGregbrainsdoc
    • 276
    • RETWEETS
    livebeat_365Ndeshi_MTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76favstar_historyscotch3554brainsdocSaraCski
    InThaBurbssquashguy15buthonestlygirlParentpainstravisauruss______JustASmirk
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    When you star and RT one of my tweets but don’t follow, I feel like you’re just slapping me on the ass as you walk by.

    • 437
    • FAVS
    djr_102ourshanesuckslissagnaaLackOfShamelivebeat_365HOH_Beechal9Ndeshi_M
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    LackOfShamelivebeat_365Dope_NinaNdeshi_MTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76brainsdocjergarl
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    I’ll make you spaghetti & meatballs then fuck you on the dinner table. Just call me a lady and a tramp.

    • 411
    • FAVS
    SeanDawslemmywinklerblurryfotoMANthonybrooksthumbelinasaysdjr_102livebeat_365Ndeshi_M
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    LaBelleMaedjr_102Ndeshi_Mscotch3554emj1120kuusela34jergarlpookieclay________
    InThaBurbsVerifiedJayy______TheLemon_RogueGod
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    You haven’t hit on me lately.



    So who is she?

    • 401
    • FAVS
    djr_102GoodgirlBaddest__jenc7878overeaseeNdeshi_MdxblarssonENGKennyc2653NotChoCheeseYo
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    GoodgirlBaddest__favstar_historyNdeshi_Mduke1985fan__random_tammieTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76kuusela34
    AngelaEhh
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    There are so many deer taking naps on the side of the road today.

    • 324
    • FAVS
    djr_1021samuel127chal9UnIxphyscoNdeshi_MCaribbePirate76ParamedicGreg_flightofideas
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    UnIxphyscoNdeshi_McarrietinibrainsdocjergarlMcOnionButt215pottermdenny
    SweetTweetsBRO__Michael_Maybe
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Mom: “Why are you drinking?”

    Me: “It looked like the bottle was taking up space in the refrigerator.”

    Mom: “Any leads on an apartment?”

    • 354
    • FAVS
    djr_102SilverBadgerNdeshi_MCaribbePirate76scotch3554ParamedicGregbrainsdocnacho_frend______
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    Ndeshi_Mscotch3554brainsdockuusela34jergarlInThaBurbsctrabs0114PabloGSerski
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    My brain is in the constant battle between doing what I’m supposed to or pretending I forgot about it.

    • 269
    • FAVS
    djr_102chal9Ndeshi_MgigipicolaCaribbePirate76scotch3554ParamedicGregbrainsdoc
    • 120
    • RETWEETS
    Ndeshi_MTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76scotch3554brainsdocspazrunsnyInThaBurbsEVILnSHIT
    GroperClevelandCraigChamberlin
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Practicing my motorboating skills. And since there aren’t any perky titties around here I guess this cheesecake will do.

    • 272
    • FAVS
    djr_102djskill3tgigipicolarandom_tammieTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76ParamedicGregbrainsdoc
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    random_tammieTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76brainsdocemmakswanjergarlspazrunsny215potter
    donjuantip
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    He only texts me when he's horny.


    Thank god.

    • 247
    • FAVS
    djr_1022ndCitySaintdjskill3tCaribbePirate76quarkkaliburmediumflowbrainsdocjergarl
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    djskill3tfavstar_historymvmxo_AHomelessBitchMrAdamBeznosimplehwyhome__215potterTheChillBillie__
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    Stop fretting, stop over thinking, stop worrying, just stop. Exist. Inhale, exhale. Sometimes that's all you can do.

    • 204
    • FAVS
    djr_102CaribbePirate76ParamedicGregdanwelder1brainsdocSweetlyDefiantBicehead13GregHenchman
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    brainsdocSweetlyDefiantBicehead13spazrunsnyakleve69jennigrl22InThaBurbsshwebby2__________
    SuperApple8______
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    You're my favorite waste of battery life.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    djr_102disgrac3fulTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76scotch3554brainsdocjergarlGregHenchman
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    MissKush710__milllyykendallCaribbePirate76scotch3554StephanieRoetsTheChillBillie__samgibbs24BitneyJo
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    “I’m not here to make friends.” Stupid fucks say that.


    I’m here to make friends on purpose. Lovers by chance. Enemies by accident.

    • 225
    • FAVS
    djr_102CaribbePirate76ParamedicGregbrainsdocspazrunsnyStephanieRoetsnonster7quinn_dexter______
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    brainsdocspazrunsnyStephanieRoetsPabloGSerskiE_coli___________SquizbotiAmVonEric________ricksteelman______
    evofck
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.

    • 206
    • FAVS
    djr_102random_tammieTheOPhilosopherTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76Terry_FireMedicbrainsdocGregHenchman
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    random_tammieTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76Terry_FireMedicbrainsdoccandy_badass215potterquinn_dexter______
    JSchabl
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    On Halloween, if a girl that looks way too old to be trick-or-treating & appears to be drunk knocks on your door, let me in.

    • 207
    • FAVS
    CaribbePirate76scotch3554The_Dorkster______Apple_or_OrangeTerry_FireMedicradarrideramgbrainsdocGregHenchman
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    NotOne2bPCscotch3554favstar_historyradarrideramgbrainsdocDrGGopieTreenonster7DumbConfessions
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    I dropped my cookie in my coffee so I poured it all into a bowl. Because soup.

    • 191
    • FAVS
    Kennyc2653random_tammieTheCattyLadylgbk44CaribbePirate76Tw0PennethThe_Dorkster______brainsdoc
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    random_tammieTheCattyLadyCaribbePirate76favstar_historykuusela34urgeekisshowingWookieInMyPants__aliinhan
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    The last time I tried to have actual phone sex with someone the boy at Pizza Hut refused to deliver me pizza and hung up on me.

    • 174
    • FAVS
    djr_102CaribbePirate76scotch3554jergarlGregHenchmanWookieInMyPants__DumbConfessionsPabloGSerski
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    scotch3554jergarlE_coli___________SquizbotC_Berry3000Damyoujoe________SimplyNamedTronbuthonestlygirl
    Jay__Zim
  • Courtniss_
      Courtney @Courtniss_

    I dance when I make waffles. Because fucking waffles people!

    • 176
    • FAVS
    CaribbePirate76ReginaldDennysjergarlGregHenchmanspazrunsnynonster7DumbConfessionsEdJohnson2
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    jergarlspazrunsnyninja_yogiE_coli___________SharpeBytesKeith_fellerSquizbotTreeWalrus________
@Courtniss_

@Courtniss_

You should be here. #BeRoyal #ListenLonger

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