I give back to society by avoiding it as much as possible.

Opinions aren't like assholes, assholes are useful periodically.

Referring to my nut sack a my body bag must have confused the judge.

Albus Dumblegore magically created the internet which his muggle brother, Al Gore, took credit for.

Is this just one big Intimate Delights party.

Not sure if I'm laughing so often because I'm happy or losing my mind. Gotta be the mind part.. pretty sure.

Cleanup on as aisle seven. Haha, hilarious. [SEND] *waits for a billion stars

Come, let me enchant you with a tale of debauchery and mayhem.

Technically she isn't on the rag, the rag is on her.

Fresh Prince of ball hair.

Thank for the pick @baconhuffer. Let's be a couple of derailed trains on a collision course with yard sale pussy.

Neighborhood yard sale going on, heading out to pick up some chicks, guys.

Super pumped for my cotillian tonight.

Sometimes I just have to accept that I'm awesome and move on.

Wayne Dyer and Tony Robins better check their rear view mirrors @jphaddadio because here I come.

The hypocrisy is strong in the one who releases information given in confidence for all of twitter to see.

Hello pots and kettles.

I came to the coffee shop counter with a freshly shaved nutsack. The person's order in front of me was so long I ordered with a nut afro.

<~~ Office eye candy.

A gay porno titled "Assorted Nuts."