Aladdin was black? This changes everything.

Cool hat bro http://t.co/7F8KQRg7

My neighbor’s been missing for over 24 hours. If anyone has seen or knows of @danstasiewski’s whereabouts please let me or CLE PD know.

The right way to eat a banana? Like a goddamn American. Let it sit on the fridge til it turns black then throw it away, Bitch. #USA

Ohio tattoo artist sued after he inks a giant turd onto his ex-girlfriend's back http://t.co/yl2djvSo

Friendly Reminder: Wu-Tang is for the children.

I miss pluto

BREAKING STORY: Local news stations give murderer tons of attention!

Sometimes I walk down the hall with change in my pockets and pretend the noise is spurs & I’m a cowboy. Then I sit at my desk and die inside

Reporting @celebboutique as spam because I'm powerless to do anything else about the world I live in

i was into midgets and tits way before Game of Thrones

Tonight would be a perfect night for pizza! (Like most nights)

OH "beer before liquor never sicker but I'm invincible!" -@danshultz #codemash

FACT: "Communication" has the anagram "Cum Taco Minion"

Juggalos are only one letter away from being Huggalos. Just keep that in mind.

RT if you image searched 'duck nipples'. Fav if you didn't.

My friends are picking a date to induce labor. I suggested they calculate which day would put the kid's 21st bday on a friday

spring, nigga

I'LL NEVER FORGET WHERE I WAS DURING THE EARTHQUAKE - wasting away in a fucking cubicle.

'Pizza Compass' is an app that leads you to the nearest pizzeria via a pizza shaped compass. Genius  http://bit.ly/15G3I7f