If you call your boyfriend 'boo' no one fucking likes you.

If D stands for dinner, than yes... I want the D.

Why is bath salt trending? Aren't we over that?

This tampon commercial shows a girl apparently on her period hitting on a guy at a party. He is gonna be PISSED.

@ders808 The fact that you were hanging outside the bail bonds office and knew her child's exact age is unsettling.

The world doesn't end until the year 5,000,000,000. If you watched Dr. Who like you should have been you'd know that.

Me: "Is it gonna be awkward now?" Him: "Not unless you make it awkward." Me: "So yes."

"and in that moment I swear we were real niggas" -The Perks of Being a Hood Rat

THIS SO FUCKING MUCH. Nerds? LOL http://t.co/jApB8L9t

Twitter. A place to talk shit about everyone without mentioning a single name.

Why does Ariel wear sea shells? Because she can't fit into D shells. BWAHAHA

Lol @ people that steal others tweets.

I have never been my types type.

Thigh tattoos just look better on chubby girls.

I wish that just once when someone tells me I give good head I could return the compliment.

It is Sasha Grey's birthday. <333

350 followers, which means I lost some, which means 350 people have a great sense of humor and everyone else is stupid.

@alyssababyy23 @huntermoore They would be born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and tarantula eyelashes.

don’t you hate it when you’re trying to play basketball and you’re head’s in the game but you’re heart’s in the song

I AM NOT A LESBIAN! I JUST LIKE TO WATCH GIRLS DO IT WITH EACH OTHER OKAY!?