Oh man, going from watching Kids in the Hall to Comedy Inc. is like going from the hot tub to a puddle of shit.

Now Rob Ford has time to play Dynamo in 'The Running Man' remake. #therunningman #robford #dynamo #topoli pic.twitter.com/nyW7vX9D

@colinmochrie My Uncle Peter has his briss today. Can I get a retweet?

TODAY!! Matinee performance of @secondcityto 'Meme-ing of Life' at 4pm. $20. All proceeds go to The Jo-Anna Downey Fund. Woot woot!!

Hooray @bluejays!! You did it. We owe it all to new third basemen @patthornton. #LoveThisTeam

Hey @torontostar, You have TWO Gangnam Style parody stories on your homepage. Please stop.

If I ate the bones of an elk, my body would repurpose those bones and give me a stronger chin and jaw line, right?

Perfectly timed a fart to the 'ding' at the end of the Dexter theme song. #incrediblyproud

Woke up at 9am. Ate pizza at 9:30am. Currently trying to have a nap - it's 9:51am.

Every time I see someone bend over I make a fart noise in my head.

Great improv show tonight with @sarahhillier & @annpornel . Lots of great comics on the show. Wish that could happen every night!

Once again, here's 'A Quick Question' - starring @patthornton @carlyheffernan & me. Directed by @jaredsales http://t.co/scc4FKek

Check out this @thesketchersons video Starring @patthornton, @carlyheffernan & myself . Directed by @jaredsales . http://t.co/scc4FKek

Two Teenage Girls I heard at lunch - Girl 1: So my mom's friend Zane... Girl 2: Wait, Zane? Girl 1: Yeah, I know. (BOTH BEGIN LAUGHING)

This Chris Brown performance is like watching live action Q-Bert. But Q-Bert is better cause he would never hit a woman. #noarms

Everyone better watch my pal @mark_forward on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson TONIGHT!! So proud of this guy.

@patthornton I asked him for a poem about spiders... and I got it!! http://t.co/PQaOFetj

Bitch Combers #DepressingSitcoms #CanadianEdition

My jacket is wet if you know what I mean. #wetjacket #notariddle

#FF our @secondcityto directors, stage manager & musical director too! -> @kerry_griffin @cheechcicko @matthewcreid @robbbbaker #memeoflife