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I have over a terabyte of porn saved to my personal memory
Somedays you're the big old penis, and somedays you're the gaping birthhole.
I love reading my own tweets. HA! I'm so funny.
Can we all agree that instagramming our dick picks should be a common courtesy at this stage of the game? #bestwaytostartaMonday
Feels like one of those get off the lawn and go to work kind of mornings..
Dear everywhere, always have available everything I want, thank you.
Wash before eating, Ha!
The only time you should wear a condom is if your bangin your cousin #iknowthisonegirl
Its like who doesn't like getting their genitals pleasured, right? #imheretoo
Sick of picking cat hair outta my grass so in just gonna smoke it instead #yeahimhigh #puffpuffpasstuesdays
Ate my hangover pizza off the floor last night and there's still some left for breakfast! Step aside cats n let me in there! #yeahimhigh
I always loved getting stoned at the playground the only problem is I'm damn near 30 #yeahimhigh #ConfessionsOfAGrownUpKid
Gonna cut a hole in the bottom of my mailbox and put a garbage can under it.
Wearing a pair of underwear with a vagina sewed into the crotch, it feels like a small cotton hand cupping my business #saxx #nuthuggers
Able to write a sentence in a single thought #mundanesuperpowers
Is it a coincidence that the cock has a head and the balls look like a brain, I think not!