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If you think your new Apple Watch makes you look like Dick Tracy, you're half right.
Next Republican that bitches about environmental regulations should be handed a bottle of Toledo tap water.
I'm renaming my cats Thoughts and Prayers because they are also useless in dealing with gun violence.
Judging by tonight's trends, I'm guessing Taye Diggs and Zac Effron are starring in a really awkward Huckleberry Finn.
Wolf Blitzer is to music as Wolf Blitzer is to debates. https://twitter.com/cookthegreat/status/723218852490801152 …
That awkward moment when thousands of Trump supporters realize they're mourning a Muslim.
Which is why Muhammad Ali wins, even in death.
Artisanal tweeter. I'm a board certified witch doctor with an MFA in sandwich art. Hobbies are sculpting earwax and cooking with glue. Pisces.
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