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I want to be the reason you delete your phone's history.
If you're a pharmacist and you've never put a label on your penis that says "to be taken orally", you need to stop being so mature.
The greatest drug in the world is the knowledge that you are sexually desirable.
I want to run my fingers through your soul.
It's no coincidence that we ran into each other while trying to run away from ourselves.
If a recipe says it makes 24 cookies and you manage to get 24 cookies, you'd have my vote to run a country because clearly you're a wizard.
It's not stalking if I'm dressed as Catwoman. It's crime-fighting.
There isn't a single inch of me that isn't covered in thoughts of you.
Take away someone's power over you and you will see their true colours.
The best thing to do when down to your last straw is to put it into a bottle of vodka.
I can only assume the universe wants me to become an alcoholic since it keeps giving me reasons to drink.
Your words wrap around me, holding me tightly until the day comes when your arms will finally replace them.
I used to think that being an adult was difficult until I discovered Twitter, and now being an adult is almost fucking impossible.
You don't truly know how damaged your heart is until you open it again, and you don't truly know how brave you are until you do.
If I were on death row, I'd pick you as my last meal.
Never mistake being needed with being appreciated.
I'll never understand why some people go out of their way to test someone's love when outside forces already put that love to the test daily
I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you.
There are few things as rare and precious as undivided attention.
Asking questions that hurt your heart is sometimes the only way to see reality clearly.
I import my tweets from one of three places: my brain, my heart, and my vagina.