I've just had a random text asking for a naked picture. Unknown source. I sent them this http://t.co/es5B5XuT

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAHAAAHA! http://t.co/s5pPpUym

'mummy, what's that noise?'
'my electric toothbrush. Go to sleep'
'why are you brushing your teeth in bed?'
O_O
I want to die. Right now.

Can anyone answer this? @jobcentreplus pic.twitter.com/Agsm6Y24

Nicked off Facebook (via @tru), a Viz pisstake from the 80s. Absolutely pissing myself! pic.twitter.com/25QpA2hdh0

Bravo! http://t.co/tXRTbtRG

OH MY ACTUAL CHRIST! My 13 year old son just barged in all excited with his stocking.... AND MORNING WOOD! *dies inside* @bahbahbrabsh33p

NAKED PIC OF FRANKIE COCKOOZER http://t.co/5SNDHWAb

Any budding photographers out there interested in the Praktica bx-20 with a shed loads of extras let me know. Please RT

TADA! pic.twitter.com/lxJJNob7rL

Bloody steak and BJ day. Where's our Chicken and a'licking day then?

One DM you can say ANYTHING YOU WANT & the receiver CAN'T RESPOND! Repost this and see what DM's you get. (it's fun!)

#IveAlwaysWantedToDoAHashtagThatIsTheFullOneHundredAndFortyCharactersSoIMadeThisOneUpWhileIWasTakingAnAlmightySteamingNuttyCabageSmellingPoo

Nicked off Facebook. I know it's mental but I kind of want to see a glittery poo now pic.twitter.com/deQPeykm

Font = Don't
Funk = Fuck
He'll = Hell
Count = Cunt
iPhone = idiot

I am in labour. I repeat, I AM IN LABOUR! :D

I've just seen this piece of genius on facefook. I want it. http://t.co/Pd68lpds

WHAT. THE. FUCK?! http://t.co/jfXvFViL

This is just hilarious http://t.co/knj3rD2o

Some people will iinsist on retweeting utter horseshit