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There's enough food on Instagram to feed Africa for 3 months.
Dude, cigarettes give you cancer. Yea dude, Boobs can cause cancer too. Shit dude. How'll men survive? Weed dude. Oh. Yea.
You are doing life wrong if you own a Maruti Van and haven't yet kidnapped anyone.
Dear Pakistan, you can take the world cups we've won. Please, just please take Navjot Singh Sidhu and Ravi Shastri with them!
Mycroft – “Oh Sherlock, What do we say about coincidence? Sherlock – “The Universe is rarely so lazy.”
Nothing beats a cigarette after sex. Except that I don't like the former and I don't get the latter.
Marry a woman who doesn't sleep while watching a documentary.
And god said 'Let there be light'. For he likes having a cigarette after sex.
That chant in #TDKR sounds like 'fish fish, pasta pasta' or 'bitch bitch, bastard bastard' or 'jizz jizz, faster faster.'
The person who created 'last seen' function on whatsapp is the biggest stalker alive.
Hey, im a girl. I have a hot dp. But people follow me because of my tweets. Which are mostly about my nailpaint And what I had after dinner.
Girl- Omg Omg. Manchester united. Wayne rooney. Wayne rooney. :D Me- what's an offside? Girl - ermmm.
Avatar on star movies. It's the new Nayak.
David Moyes out 3 weeks with a ruptured anus.
If you really love someone....., wait, that was offside!!
Men are from mars. Women are from Venus. Lol, jk. Everyone's from a penis.
Too bad we cant donate fat.