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There's enough food on Instagram to feed Africa for 3 months.
Dude, cigarettes give you cancer. Yea dude, Boobs can cause cancer too. Shit dude. How'll men survive? Weed dude. Oh. Yea.
You are doing life wrong if you own a Maruti Van and haven't yet kidnapped anyone.
Nothing beats a cigarette after sex. Except that I don't like the former and I don't get the latter.
Marry a woman who doesn't sleep while watching a documentary.
And god said 'Let there be light'. For he likes having a cigarette after sex.
That chant in #TDKR sounds like 'fish fish, pasta pasta' or 'bitch bitch, bastard bastard' or 'jizz jizz, faster faster.'
The person who created 'last seen' function on whatsapp is the biggest stalker alive.
Hey, im a girl. I have a hot dp. But people follow me because of my tweets. Which are mostly about my nailpaint And what I had after dinner.
Girl- Omg Omg. Manchester united. Wayne rooney. Wayne rooney. :D Me- what's an offside? Girl - ermmm.
Avatar on star movies. It's the new Nayak.
If you really love someone....., wait, that was offside!!
Men are from mars. Women are from Venus. Lol, jk. Everyone's from a penis.
Too bad we cant donate fat.
Buy a cat. Name it chivalry. Kill it. Chivalry is dead. Cat has 9 lives. It comes back. Chivalry is not dead. Chivalry is a cat.
Marry a lady who can find proper torrent links.
What doesn't kill me makes me smaller - mario.
In China, they have men making cellphones in every second house. In Ireland, they got men making beer. Here, we just make babies.
'So, are you having a boy or an abortion?'