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  • DBMaxP
    Pinned   Max P @DBMaxP

    When I said I was "handy", I meant more in an inappropriately groping way... NOT in a fix your washing machine way

    • 183
    • LIKES
    bgblutigerfancaseytduncani_wasnt_lookingheadstrong_girlAlex_N_Chainshottentotsgottopaz_kellThe_MartiniGirl
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405caseytduncani_wasnt_lookingheadstrong_girlhottentotsgottopaz_kellWas_I_invertedThe_MartiniGirl
    BigHeb7
  • DBMaxP
    Pinned   Max P @DBMaxP

    I'm at my most fiscally responsible when buying a $50 ticket to the ballpark to take advantage of $1 hotdog night

    • 233
    • LIKES
    ashrafmalik02locherreCaptn_n_Tequilacaseytduncancorinnemlwswbeersudsrunning1starcasaded
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405MaMikeamoashrafmalik02kennelkenny92caseytduncancorinnemlwswUrMomsTcloribuckmajor
  • DBMaxP
    Pinned   Max P @DBMaxP

    The sexual tension in this juice bar is pulpable

    • 463
    • LIKES
    Bohan_Identityjuneohara65shari_baylessashrafmalik02chiefbenttwigkennelkenny92brain_omenfryind
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405DeirdreocxFeatheredFreyjaChugglebutteshari_baylesscarmenalbaranth_purpl_ladyashrafmalik02
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    There are 2 types of people: Those that think they are normal, and those that realize there is no such thing.

    • 1,966
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsloribuckmajori_wasnt_lookingheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotlasergirl70Inferno_V
    • 1,739
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsloribuckmajorheadstrong_girlOne_FineMesshottentotsgotlasergirl70Inferno_V
    hottentotsgotBourbon_luv______
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    One man's LOL is another man's WTF

    • 1,938
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsloribuckmajorheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotSardonicTartcharliedelta7Social_Mime
    • 1,479
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotSardonicTartcharliedelta7Social_Mimeommz
    mrjohntofu
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    I'm an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want

    • 1,757
    • LIKES
    Slims_Ramblingsheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotNahdude83charliedelta7ThisOneSayzSocial_MimecmsWarner
    • 1,188
    • RETWEETS
    Slims_Ramblingsheadstrong_girllasergirl70Nahdude83charliedelta7ThisOneSayzSocial_Mimejumpdashark
    Nicholey23__
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!

    • 1,733
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotlasergirl70Nahdude83charliedelta7Social_Mime
    • 906
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSlims_RamblingsAlex_N_Chainslasergirl70Nahdude83charliedelta7Social_Mimejumpdashark
    SwartyComedysamfromks10InchesPlus
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?

    • 1,562
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingsheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotlasergirl70SardonicTartcharliedelta7ThisOneSayz
    • 1,039
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanSlims_Ramblingslasergirl70SardonicTartcharliedelta7ThisOneSayzSocial_Mimejumpdashark
    OneFunnyMummyHalbeerzjunejuly12
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question

    • 1,245
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotlasergirl70SardonicTartcharliedelta7Social_MimeWarWithMyMind
    • 866
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanlasergirl70SardonicTartcharliedelta7Social_MimeWarWithMyMindpepperkatwjumpdashark
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    People at work tell me I have a lot of patience.

    Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around

    • 1,244
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotlasergirl70charliedelta7ThisOneSayzSocial_MimeFloodyHippie
    • 856
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncancorinnemlwswlasergirl70jumpdasharkcharliedelta7ThisOneSayzSocial_MimeiForeverZoeyy
    KatieBurnettfixyourcompass
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Some of my best memories were my worst mistakes

    • 1,146
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanOne_FineMesshottentotsgotlasergirl70Social_MimeLorieGZtwerkforringoFloodyHippie
    • 834
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncancorinnemlwswOne_FineMesshottentotsgotlasergirl70jumpdasharkSocial_MimeiForeverZoeyy
    NaomiGlitterIdeal_VictoriaClarkeMcMakinMSN2BE
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    I've seen bacon... I've cooked and eaten bacon... and you turkey bacon... are NOT bacon.

    • 1,188
    • LIKES
    bgblutigerfanheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotSocial_MimeFloodyHippievalerie_tosiheyevergreenLandonRayyy
    • 719
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405The_MartiniGirlJazzzzzminajumpdasharkSocial_MimeFloodyHippieLeaSavoystewart_ws
    TexasVampicehead13DudeImShawn
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts

    • 1,073
    • LIKES
    AnitaHelmetcaseytduncanhottentotsgotJazzzzzminaThisOneSayzSocial_Mimekatie_1002Jordan_Alaina
    • 686
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405OyasiIsSurnameMaMikeamocaseytduncanSteadyVibenSkulKittenWrittenKatyHibBandersnaaatch
    IQuitTwittah__Smooheedshay_kinbakeabrosenthal
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    If guys could blow themselves, Twitter would just be a bunch of ladies entertaining each other

    • 899
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanhottentotsgotBluestmoon_Social_MimecuntyfruitbatsT_Bonezzz__FloodyHippieTheAlexNevil
    • 565
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanjumpdasharkBluestmoon_Social_MimecocainasincostoT_Bonezzz__iForeverZoeyyFloodyHippie
    Overdue_Bills
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    The only yoga I'm good at is downward facing drunk

    • 892
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanheadstrong_girlhottentotsgotJazzzzzminaSocial_MimejumpdasharkPca42aimlessamers
    • 520
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanJazzzzzminajumpdasharkSocial_Mimeaimlessamersbol_tu_bhiitsrohitdearBrittBark23
    DionneMcNutt
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Let's settle this like men... men with bad judgment & unlimited water balloons

    • 736
    • LIKES
    AnitaHelmetcaseytduncanhottentotsgotJazzzzzminaThisOneSayzSocial_MimejumpdasharkCatherineLMK
    • 448
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405caseytduncanRidiculousSherijumpdasharkThisOneSayzSocial_MimeJustoneadultfuzzlime
    SgtButtCheeks__
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Apparently, thumb wrestling isn't an acceptable form of solving an office dispute. Idiots.

    • 723
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanhottentotsgotSocial_MimejumpdasharkAmyWill62863570katie_1002lawlyn_shmalynv_va_lowe
    • 379
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanjumpdasharkSocial_MimeAmyWill62863570lawlyn_shmalynCrunk_Jews__aimlessamersGoodBadThing
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Tea without sugar isn't "unsweetened tea".

    It's. Just. Tea.

    • 697
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanhottentotsgotRidiculousSheriBluestmoon_Social_Mimejumpdasharklacrossemom5CParkerPyne
    • 385
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanThe_MartiniGirljumpdasharkBluestmoon_Social_Mimesrecobo_TheRawTruthstasiakeita
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    "Does this house make my ass look flat?" - Wicked Witch of the East

    • 688
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanhottentotsgotNdeshi_MSardonicTartNotJustJackJudekarma909jumpdasharkWhaJoTalkinBout
    • 346
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanjumpdasharkNdeshi_MSardonicTartNotJustJackWhaJoTalkinBoutCrunk_Jews__SashimiCatapult
    PortRooster__
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Every once in a while I will scroll thru my TL really fast & pretend I'm in that I Love Lucy episode with the conveyor belt & the chocolates

    • 700
    • LIKES
    caseytduncanhottentotsgotJazzzzzminaBluestmoon_Phook75jumpdasharkcoolandgothpippydrydocking
    • 325
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanThe_MartiniGirlJazzzzzminajumpdasharkBluestmoon_Phook75Duney541MyLittleGarrone
    TINY_TOESIES______emilylimemrtruthandsoul
@DBMaxP

@DBMaxP

Occasionally wrong, but never in doubt

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