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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    There are 2 types of people: Those that think they are normal, and those that realize there is no such thing.

    • 1,863
    • FAVS
    before_yestdcarlielynSkinnieTallsCVTBabySlothySloth123PurelyYours1StonedHaterYogaLemons
    • 1,654
    • RETWEETS
    before_yestdSkinnieTallsfinnladyhumanStonedHaterthatdutchpersonsteelblue4ujust1foolgrendelcame
    Bourbon_luv______
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    One man's LOL is another man's WTF

    • 1,820
    • FAVS
    CVTBabythatdutchpersonnotyourpapasteelblue4uNodAndAgreeyoshifan331just1foolAnneKepplinger
    • 1,374
    • RETWEETS
    Alluring_Chaosdark_n_twistynotyourpapajust1fool2014longviewadhar_shTheBlueSparklesSoo_Scandalouss
    mrjohntofu
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    I'm an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want

    • 1,613
    • FAVS
    SusieWLcakell09Honest_Soul37BumpinGemzsteelblue4uBloodshot_Inkyoshifan331just1fool
    • 1,108
    • RETWEETS
    SusieWLAllegedlyCBbgtgrfanjust1fool2014longviewTanyaGJ72stevenjone5GreeneyedMofo
    Nicholey23
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!

    • 1,622
    • FAVS
    celestinelea90cakell09nakedlaughingawaywardmistGetALifeOrHobbyRollinintheseatsteelblue4uNodAndAgree
    • 839
    • RETWEETS
    nakedlaughingawaywardmistjust1fool2014longviewScorpio1080DrowningBlondemagicraisinJ_Illunninati
    SwartyComedySamDelanche10InchesPlus
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?

    • 1,453
    • FAVS
    FakeZoologistcarrionierRollinintheseatMarilynnBumpinGemzjaclyn_canthatdutchpersonNodAndAgree
    • 966
    • RETWEETS
    LuisinCaliRollinintheseatAnilNehra11TskTskTonya__BumpinGemzVickiLeigh1012jaclyn_canthatdutchperson
    OneFunnyMummyHalbeerzjunejuly12
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question

    • 1,182
    • FAVS
    SemiCharmedTascakell09a_humbugNaomiGlitterthatdutchpersonsteelblue4uJ_jormpdog11234
    • 826
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabyyoujustwongsunLoLoRae1thatdutchpersonsteelblue4uBeckShmeckjust1foolserenity_holder
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    People at work tell me I have a lot of patience.

    Fact is… there are just way too many witnesses around

    • 1,195
    • FAVS
    RollinintheseatzakcureMeteorshoweredelizabeth_felsKittyShittyythatdutchpersonJphillipsJacquipdog11234
    • 805
    • RETWEETS
    VickiLeigh1012thatdutchpersonsteelblue4uJphillipsJacquijust1foolserenity_holderHousewifeOfHellMiniwheats2012
    KatieBurnettfixyourcompass
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Some of my best memories were my worst mistakes

    • 1,083
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiedougbieszerodecodedwickedsugaOfeliaArizmendiSoulYodelerHousewifeOfHellPussycatPlace
    • 787
    • RETWEETS
    zerodecodedwickedsugaMelissaMarramDarianSabaHousewifeOfHellSoo_ScandaloussMySelfSadakatsanju_ca
    NaomiGlitterIdeal_VictoriaClarkeMcMakinMSN2BE
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    I've seen bacon... I've cooked and eaten bacon... and you turkey bacon... are NOT bacon.

    • 1,126
    • FAVS
    RollinintheseatPussycatPlaceSoo_ScandaloussEGRudnercatherinerocks_UncleBob56ElamGloNdeshi_M
    • 670
    • RETWEETS
    kluwiRollinintheseatRevMGDasliceofcreepyUncleBob56Ndeshi_MJenni4MoBaconiRealWali
    TexasVampicehead13DudeImShawn
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts

    • 955
    • FAVS
    azmo2177lizz_goltzpattyhep39shericejzj45krissTpissTboodibawalruslifestylecelestinelea90
    • 607
    • RETWEETS
    AlohaSuckersYvonneCancelestinelea90SJStockingstaylormade83wickedsugaKennycruzinchilliconnect
    IQuitTwittah__Smooheedshay_kinbakeabrosenthal
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    If guys could blow themselves, Twitter would just be a bunch of ladies entertaining each other

    • 852
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiezakcurenutdnelizabeth_felsthatdutchpersonwickedsugabcougarjSoo_Scandalouss
    • 537
    • RETWEETS
    thatdutchpersonwickedsugamulosSoo_ScandaloussNdeshi_Mscott_atlantakspinks4485Jaywoo74
    Overdue_Bills
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    The only yoga I'm good at is downward facing drunk

    • 815
    • FAVS
    celestinelea90AllegedlyCBcakell09nakedlaughingohmygrapenessiwearaonesiethatdutchpersonwickedsuga
    • 472
    • RETWEETS
    ItsDeltaJulietnakedlaughingohmygrapenessiwearaonesiewickedsugaSoo_ScandaloussNdeshi_ME_lok44
    DionneMcNutt
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Let's settle this like men... men with bad judgment & unlimited water balloons

    • 680
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiewickedsugaSoo_ScandaloussNdeshi_MBluestmoon_ninakcarrollJaywoo74kroger1205
    • 401
    • RETWEETS
    wickedsugaNdeshi_MBluestmoon_kcmoore51GrantJ18FlyJ_ShutUpThatsWhoNewagewizard
    SgtButtCheeks__
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Apparently, thumb wrestling isn't an acceptable form of solving an office dispute. Idiots.

    • 663
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieRollinintheseatthatdutchpersonSilverBadgerwickedsugapreggostoriespaulablu22Soo_Scandalouss
    • 343
    • RETWEETS
    wickedsugapaulablu22stalkinghands__Ndeshi_MCrooow1iRealWaliella__fraserglamerizemeadam
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Every once in a while I will scroll thru my TL really fast & pretend I'm in that I Love Lucy episode with the conveyor belt & the chocolates

    • 656
    • FAVS
    wickedsugapaulablu22Soo_ScandaloussNdeshi_Mella__fraserfl0wj0bkcmoore51FlyJ_
    • 294
    • RETWEETS
    wickedsugapaulablu22Ndeshi_MiRealWaliella__fraserkcmoore51FlyJ_OneFunnyMummy
    TINY_TOESIES______emilylimemrtruthandsoul
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Is the Pumpkin Spice McRib out yet?

    • 552
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesielisakaypricepizzasaucebosshooverbagelRollinintheseatBillMelistaceouterspacemiss_jerkette
    • 391
    • RETWEETS
    Geekasaurus99__RollinintheseatBillMelistaceouterspacewickedsugapaulablu22perpetua87Ndeshi_M
    Adam14
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip

    • 549
    • FAVS
    PeevedLifedkon7810_NIKD_justwant2winehail_M_huntnthonyswanUncleDuke1969Rollinintheseat
    • 351
    • RETWEETS
    luklovesgreenb1KiraToraXUncleDuke1969wickedsugapaulablu22BangYouBabyNdeshi_MCheetCheetTrain
    One_FineMess
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Tea without sugar isn't "unsweetened tea".

    It's. Just. Tea.

    • 552
    • FAVS
    d_weisSineadALoftuschelleariUniBaggeryasmineelrakeebluklovesgreenb1notmargot663OpenClassMX
    • 302
    • RETWEETS
    BPM20yunghalloweenyasmineelrakeebjustwant2winenthonyswanUncleDuke1969beatendownhubbydanielweiss22
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Everytime I see loose coins on the floor in front of a vending machine, I wonder if Michael J Fox was there earlier trying to buy a Snickers

    • 516
    • FAVS
    justwant2wineUncleDuke1969smellthewalletBillMeliwickedsugaSoo_ScandaloussLoveNLunchmeatglamerizemeadam
    • 307
    • RETWEETS
    PeevedLifeUncleDuke1969BillMeliwickedsugaSoo_Scandalousskcmoore51WarWithMyMindHiddleDeeDee
    concretesledge_caperbc75danrgraberRidiculousSheriAdam14
  • DBMaxP
      Max P @DBMaxP

    Pointless nitpicking is my god given right as an American and an asshole

    • 563
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieHallerDawnwickedsugaNdeshi_Mella__fraserroper364kcmoore51sunones
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    wickedsugaP4TTT__Ndeshi_MOpusMagnus42ella__fraserkcmoore51jcstarzykAddisonandClark
@DBMaxP

@DBMaxP

Occasionally wrong, but never in doubt

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