All hail The Confessions Tour! #fb

Latest wifi username to pop-up on my screen: "pretty fly for a wifi". Yeah, this neighborhood will be majority white soon. #BloomingdaleDC

Just witnessed a very (seemingly) angry teen on the train rapping about his bedroom skills. Then he began to hump the air. #wmata

Woman on the train: "I am from New York City. I'm so sick of Metro." Well, go home, bitch. :-)

I'm awake and sober this morning, @chrislhayes! Bring it on.

HELP! I walk like a woman! http://t.co/T5PBPzk Marcus Bachmann, is that you?! #p2

"Madonna rode the NYC subway yesterday! I can only assume that means Lady Gaga will ride the subway today, but not as good." #fb

Damn pestrians! #wmata (not their sign, I know...) #Shaw http://t.co/CnOnvMNI

And being pissed on by the brother of a d-list R&B singer. RT @iplankonheauxs: You're famous for fucking, ma'am @kimkardashian

A hipster in a bunny costume just dumped his trash into my landlords bin. O-KAY. #BloomingdaleDC

There's a risk one takes when they live in a "transitional" neighborhood. Not thrilled by last night's bs, but it's not surprising.

There's this woman hanging outside of the Shaw station nearly every evening begging for a penny. A PENNY. #wmata

Under Obama's watch, bitches! Re-elect. Re-elect. Re-elect!

So many gays outside tending to their front gardens in my neighborhood. I want to give every single one of them a hug.

BEST. RT @dcdebbie: Justin Bieber just thanked Michael Jackson, who is in heaven picturing him naked. #AMAs

@flsteelersbabe Me, too. :-/

@theleanover Love the curtains.

@theleanover Me, too. I just have that "hide inside my apartment and drink alone" confidence.

I thought the whole point of Vegas was to get naked with strangers. Non-issue.

I really tried to get into this 12 hour documentary on the US National Parks that's been taking up DVR space since Dec. I give up. #delete