I STOPPED READING AFTER THE FIRST LETTER BUT I THINK @rare_basement IS COMING TO CHICAGO I DUNNO MAN! http://t.co/WDmVWNhC

#blockOprah The free ride is over madam. pic.twitter.com/cM0IlK9g2t

@boring_as_heck @dominosvietnam @dominoslaos @dominoscambodia @dominosmyanmar my god Nixon was rite! #DominoEffect

@thugby Jesus fucking Christ ...they are kicking me off the train for laughing too hard.

Fuck off ATT http://t.co/AJSs6cxW

If a cop farts he has to tell you, know the law you moron

My neck, my back/
My dick fried in duck fat

@dog_as_hell Riboflavaflave

You kids like TED talks well listen to THIS! I call it Fred talks and they aren't quite as good or good at all so

@grifteezy MY DOOMSDAY PREPER AUDITION TAPE IS BULLSHIT WITHOUT 5 OR 6 GIRLS IN A SEX CULT

@dads_secret The lust of and for dads rises eternal

@pontiuspyrite White mages are like this "bloop bloop", black mages are like this "pew pew", diversity!

I love my girlfriend, she's real cute. <3

.@pizzashaman purchase me, bro. Exchange currency for ownership of me, man. Take me home for $289/mo 1.9% APR OAC, bud. Endenture me, dude.

@pontiuspyrite my grampy died in 'Nam so you could have Strak and Blojob day you intitled son of ab*tch

I can't BELIEVE you have the AUDACITY to question how I raise my children. *clutches wheels of cheese to chest* Look, now you've upset them.

It's fun being at a cool place, but without my lady, it's kinda lame #whipped #sappytweet

*stands up* I'm thankful for my penis OH WHAT NOW YOU DONT WANT ME TO TALK? FUCK YOUR POLICE STATE, GRANDMA!"

@corgiparty7 Dearest Elenore,
I PULL OUT MY THROBBING CO

"WAR WITH IRAN A BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY/DONT TAX THE RICH, NO HOMOS VOTE FOR MITTY"-Kid Rock