Why won't NASCAR racers, who have windshields & roofs, race in the rain? Motorcycle racers race wet or dry. #daytona500

My backyard neighbor's dog has been barking for well over 30 minutes. I don't know them. Maybe I'll introduce myself at their dog's funeral

<le sigh> The only thing that can fix this day is a motorcycle ride. I hear a '79 Honda Hawk 400 calling my name...

Every time I see a non-temp here, I feel like a loser. I used to have a grown-up job. I want to play in the big sand box again :(

Want a really great race/track bike? Making room to add a new steed. Hate to see the old one go, but... http://t.co/2M3ypeCo

All I want is a big ass glass, maybe the whole damn bottle, of Cupcake Reisling. And a decent job. And sex. But the wine first, please.

Our house smells like bacon & sunshine

Twitter is a random piece of Velcro: not a whole lot to it, but fun enough that it keeps you from doing what you should be doing instead

The abandoned trick-or-treat glow sticks on the living room rug look especially lonely in our eerily dark house this morning.

If it weren't for caffeine, I would merely be a pink lump with a shock of red hair today.

Not really into this "Monday's here and you really like food & toilet paper so get your ass out of bed" thing

Made one from scratch tonight, too (snowstorm, I had time) “@flyoverjoel: Chicken Pot Tweet of the Day! @flyoverfi  http://Instagr.am/p/WA5-HipXJ5/ ”

@caissie That's what I was thinking. Are they for people too lazy to bend over?

“@paulypeligroso: "How does my dick taste Walter?" - Leonardo DiCaprio” >funniest. comment. ever.

I think this football thing would be more fun if they played by Hunger Games rules.

Watching vintage Star Trek w/@tornado_bait. Our theory that Kirk's sole mission was to get laid by every species is holding firm

Celebrating @tornado_bait's The Voice audition (@ McCormick & Schmick's Seafood)  http://4sq.com/UXydgz 

MT .@mouthymess Break the cycle. Stir shit up... Be YOU for a change. You may lose everything… But what is happiness worth to you?

Oh, yoga, how I missed your bliss. Please don't ever leave me like that again. I know where you live.

Wish unremembering was a skill I possessed.