Porn found in Osama bin Laden's compound. http://t.co/nNd56H1 DVDs like "The Goat Next Door" "Burka Bukkake Vol 16" & "Shagging the Casbah"

Macho Man Randy Savage saved the earth from the rapture http://twitpic.com/50w0jk

Here's my Monday mantra: Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK!!!!!!!!

I have a MILF mustache.

Every Mother's Day I go out of my way to help single unwed mothers. I pass out dollar bills at the strip club. It brings such joy to my face

@billzucker Big ass titties

Its time to reveal something I've been keeping private. @jenlant is really my daughter from my 1st marriage.

Canada takes the lead on the war in Libya then calls for an election. How Canandian.

I shoed a brokelace

@hulababee The rapture will leave Vancouver with an empty net as Luongo gets pulled up to heaven and the Sharks score repeatadly

Shout out to all the nurses. Aloha

Such beauty, Merrie Monarch festival. Beautiful dancing, attire, and people. Full of aloha spirit and happiness.

Happy Birthday to someone who makes me laugh, puts me in line when i need it, and makes the seagulls dance. @hulababee !

OMG the sunset is hitting my disco ball My calibration to have this happen on the vernal equinox was slightly off but the result is amazing

Another hit by the Kelly family. I think someone farted in this one. http://t.co/ru8PoDr

I was bored so I made a tank for my cat. I'm sending him to Libya to battle MoMo Cat-afi. http://t.co/8stkxap

Awesome tiki painting being auctioned off to benefit Japan thru the American Red Cross: http://bit.ly/ibg16r PLEASE RETWEET

I broke a shoelace. :(

How can they claim this to be organic seal meat? Do they use free range clubs?

Oh Memorial Day that's going to reason to make them many man march to Washington DC and what is Sarah Palin a motorcycling a sausage ham?