I think I broke my nose on a flat chested girl who I was trying to motorboat.

Hey. It's free slurpme day.

I am the kind of person who calls out my name during sex. I usually am the only one involved.

@nospankyou #4WordsBeforeSex cash credit or check?

Regardless of who you voted for please can we all stand together as Americans??

Definition of sexy: I was just doing super sexy pelvic thrusts while looking through the freezer for some hot pockets for lunch.

Crown of thongs. Get it??? Ok I'll keel quiet.

@lilgapeach30 Wait its not??? NO WAY!!!

@mrtruthandsoul NWA because he was gangsta as fuck.

@perryjerisho she sounds hot.

@nospankyou #4WordsBeforeSex

Put on your goggles.

@nospankyou #4WordsBeforeSex

What's your friends name?

Watching golf and the announcer said "oh it lips around the hole". I love that I am 31 year old going on 13.

@toneloaf that god damn fishing cap. I see it in my sleep.

@nicoleroxu it's the mustache. That beautiful mustache.

@toneloaf they wouldn't even let me keep mine. Was going to make a necklace.

@phantasmagoriax yes. All the time. Lol

@dshack8 yes. Kids reference.

@toneloaf that's funny as hell.

@phantasmagoriax lol do it.