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Is it my shoes that make my feet smell terrible? Or my feet that make my shoes smell terrible? The world may never know.
There's nothing jauntier than an embarrassed white man
Dudes aren't buying my theories on bear ghosts, bear law, the fact that a bear's nvr been found dead of natural causes, or the Bearlluminati
Hittin the beach with my top 3 Yankee Candles
Parkour!! *goes to work for 30 years and raises a family*
Feel like I have a lot in common with the lead singer of Fucked Up
i texted a photo of my ass to my softball rival to curse him now he's wiffing on everything. buddy im getting a cold from that breeze lol
Leave the rude tude at the food. court
I just pissed so hard that I'm no longer circumcised
"Only in New York!" I exclaimed, watching the twin towers collapse
Dr did an EKG/put stickers all over my chest that had to be ripped off. Insurance doesn't cover body waxing, but yrs truly fooled em bigtime
When I get out of work early I get my eyebrows done and get drunk
fact: there are at least five or six people online at any given time.
Normally I'm pretty ok with finding gray hairs but this one's in my sandwich.
hey guess what if your first instinct when somebody posts a funny thing is to tell them why it isn’t funny, you’re a jerk
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is basically Saw, but with desserts.
girl are u a lars von trier movie because sex also charlotte gainesbourg
THE INTERNET'S NICE GUY! MOMMYBLOGGER. ¡@TACOIMPORTANTE! Contributor at @imaginaryimage: http://t.co/0NkoxDwvBe Instagram/Vine: DadBeard DADBEARD EVERYWHERE!