Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Should sell 12 packs with 4 Sam Adams & 8 Bud Lights. Tasties to start and domestos for smooth sailin' home. Call it, "The Professional."
Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.
Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.
Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.
Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.
Never understood why people count how many drinks they have. A real man drinks by body feel. More natural. Boozin' ain't math, you guys.
Wish I owned a TV store in Wisconsin tomorrow, you guys.
If you're drivin' around in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw, nobody's gonna say crap to ya except, "Whoa, there's a new sheriff in town."
The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.
My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.
Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin' burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.
If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer, you guys.
People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.
Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?
If Paul Ryan got butt passioned by a crack animal & had to shoot a sin baby out his peener, he might understand the meaning of "religion."
Can't believe we're still at work. Can't wait to peel out and give the double middles so hard, like fists armed with freedom rockets.
When you call the Suicide Hotline, they should just say, "Slow down, corncob. Have you tried Chili's? What's your problem?"
If you think it's "uncool" to love America, why don't you go see how "cool" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza.