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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Should sell 12 packs with 4 Sam Adams & 8 Bud Lights. Tasties to start and domestos for smooth sailin' home. Call it, "The Professional."

    • 800
    • FAVS
    geniusadmirerdeKenstructionoldsaggytwitsBurds_1DickFurarijohnboybailsBrewWinsheyitschrism
    • 1,627
    • RETWEETS
    conrcoldsaggytwitsMyNameIsJakeMan__phatjmPaskoKMjjwhalesFrankNevanenCobbsComedyClub
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.

    • 550
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92Burds_1gf3mediumflowJumpOnMyTutu__kyle_derksenjjwhalesaruacos
    • 1,579
    • RETWEETS
    conrcMyNameIsJakeMan__krista1115carlosambertCobbsComedyClubkylewildGregBFG92MattSchulte6
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.

    • 398
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92KristinHuckabeeLaBaPeteLandonnn21lnevanenFrankNevanenNicklybirthfrombehind
    • 1,118
    • RETWEETS
    conrcTh3PezDispencerTwatterOtterMyNameIsJakeMan__WhiskeyPat__lnevanencaaarltonFrankNevanen
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just put some booze in a container that doesn't look like it's booze, then go shoppin.' Now you got a shoptail.

    • 369
    • FAVS
    Kalaeb_Sred_mittensAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1,118
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar250Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Bet MLK'd be so proud of that Sherman guy right now. Man. So powerful. With the heat of a thousand black suns.

    • 616
    • FAVS
    MrBelvebeardMcMullenCPAA_Hanson13BarryHobbsJrVonChoondjfresh47gambit_1AceDollarkill
    • 860
    • RETWEETS
    anonymous223344slamdangerfieldRob_SwagginUMichaelBullenelab_warrioraharpsterjamesoIIIdavidisabell
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.

    • 449
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92BAberams_GuzzJGJIwaniszynEsoxMasquinongyJoe_EphDanKCharnleynachnach5
    • 1,024
    • RETWEETS
    GregBFG92ExcaliBrahhealsburgsjessepalmeryanelxavierrunforrestrun90JakeMouty__weajack
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.

    • 368
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92mmmaddierichcwbrowleytowelsWhiskeyPat__Semitough23ianchurchill9Jonesyyyy
    • 1,006
    • RETWEETS
    conrcMyNameIsJakeMan__atjaredcwbsandellskyWhiskeyPat__Semitough23meatsock69
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    Drangulafearful_jesuitjjwhalesCall_Me_MarebirthfrombehindAGirlNamedSuzDanKCharnleyKarenBoBaren86
    • 1,051
    • RETWEETS
    MyNameIsJakeMan__KarenBoBaren86VonBrutal________bfuerstMEGraybush________krisseedangerisaactollhipsterboner
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin' burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.

    • 290
    • FAVS
    The_Dorkster______cloudypianosmpdowning7coozie303ClarkgroanzonenigelhotdoggKevinGehlWLNS
    • 1,038
    • RETWEETS
    groanzonenigelhotdoggFavstar250KevinGehlWLNSJizz_SexpertJOELIATH1erbricks_tridentKingHotDogMike____
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.

    • 440
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92pdzellerwiggles1centlindseykarpBurds_1reemtheebeannStreetFish1__DickFurari
    • 883
    • RETWEETS
    conrcb3thanykateStreetFish1__trevfoutchDickFurariBigFanOfWebMorganLeighWeavJulio_DA
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Never understood why people count how many drinks they have. A real man drinks by body feel. More natural. Boozin' ain't math, you guys.

    • 340
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92_yle_obsonBurds_1dice_burgrowleytowelskyle_derksenjamestwitrsauceAGirlNamedSuz
    • 979
    • RETWEETS
    conrcMyNameIsJakeMan__JeffrayHDO_The_Doole__WhiskeyPat__FuckClintonAGirlNamedSuzstephenTpeel
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.

    • 260
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92deKenstructionJonathanArguinMikeADagostinotlemcodmccarthy7hawks7651promisesxkept
    • 1,044
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar250Th3PezDispencerMyNameIsJakeMan__Broadway_JohnnyDarnKidKevinMcGannonHeadLeinsgrt1214
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    "Fireball Whisky gets you blackout bombed, but ready for a steamy makeout sesh if you don't have the spins and barf. That's Fireball."

    • 536
    • FAVS
    JB24FANGregBFG92Burds_1caleb_flaxjes26lynjesschristian10alondrrraaaA_Hanson13
    • 755
    • RETWEETS
    vintagevandahmGrunz2389fdubzouwinickmomRedEcritiqueDarrinYlisto1addsterrrrMeSoHornsby
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer, you guys.

    • 383
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92wiggles1centBurds_1jnagroyaykyleyesthisispaigeNicklyJimboMD
    • 908
    • RETWEETS
    funkeemeatballTh3PezDispencercodah101MyNameIsJakeMan__tpetrJickBogrenGregBFG92GoldyManBronzy
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you're drivin' around in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw, nobody's gonna say crap to ya except, "Whoa, there's a new sheriff in town."

    • 330
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92wiggles1centjamestwitrsauceSonofHilljackblueminivannJoshuaGreggapodixisBrownDevil3
    • 944
    • RETWEETS
    TheMikeSoaresNolanMickeyFuckClintonblkedyCrazyUncleLarrybrittanyehollonSilastheViru5robypnol
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?

    • 266
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92Burds_1Madison_SagedematrinojohnboybailsMcNoodlieMichvel13travsi
    • 994
    • RETWEETS
    kotzbearMyNameIsJakeMan__CLChildjclarkpolandtedbrooks2Michvel13GregBFG92RealCrippler
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    A real USA man knows how to give a firm handshake, can do at least 10 'shups, shoot a whisky, and change a tire. If you can't, you're a boy.

    • 277
    • FAVS
    GregBFG92BrandinBearAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 971
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar250Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If Paul Ryan got butt passioned by a crack animal & had to shoot a sin baby out his peener, he might understand the meaning of "religion."

    • 496
    • FAVS
    KevinMcGannonclebbinsOops_Magooapodixistad711groanzonepatrickkiesnernude_cop
    • 744
    • RETWEETS
    Jeffm8rFluddanTrueChupacabroAuroraTrollterminalhzacrotalusa________Chad_Zillac2d83
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you think it's "uncool" to love America, why don't you go see how "cool" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza.

    • 264
    • FAVS
    wiggles1centryanpimentaljoshmikesmithWalshingtonDC_cameronh_3ECMcCargar591OnlyInBouldermnjrk
    • 934
    • RETWEETS
    benittto3Favstar250TheReturnOfRyan__HollyMantheiAnnieRaee__TedNugentsHairEvans658DReezy_2
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Wish I owned a TV store in Wisconsin tomorrow, you guys.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Skyhook59groanzonehidavectGizSalAliOuterJohnODheredinkykinkysetshot8
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    BDanahy14jeffwsilvaKentDriscollwienerbarfKiltyMacBagpipeKaptain_Kielnateboitano4erinhall
@DadBoner

@DadBoner

Can't wait for the weekend!