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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Should sell 12 packs with 4 Sam Adams & 8 Bud Lights. Tasties to start and domestos for smooth sailin' home. Call it, "The Professional."

    • 797
    • FAVS
    DickFurarijohnboybailsBrewWinsheyitschrismscottstoltzjjwhalescloudpussyAustimusLyne
    • 1,625
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadphatjmPaskoKMjjwhalesFrankNevanenCobbsComedyClubMorganLeighWeavthuhparent
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.

    • 548
    • FAVS
    gf3mediumflowJumpOnMyTutukyle_derksenjjwhalesaruacosfuck_new_jerseyKarenBoBaren86
    • 1,578
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadkrista1115carlosambertCobbsComedyClubkylewildGregBFG92MattSchulte6rob_morris85
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.

    • 396
    • FAVS
    Landonnn21lnevanenFrankNevanenNicklybirthfrombehindDanKCharnleyJCrandlemireapodixis
    • 1,116
    • RETWEETS
    TwatterOtterJakeTurnerisRadWhiskeyPatlnevanencaaarltonFrankNevanenCobbsComedyClubmikerice
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Bet MLK'd be so proud of that Sherman guy right now. Man. So powerful. With the heat of a thousand black suns.

    • 616
    • FAVS
    McMullenCPAA_Hanson13BarryHobbsJrVonChoondjfresh47gambit_1AceDollarkilljohnnyrayzone
    • 860
    • RETWEETS
    anonymous223344slamdangerfieldRob_SwagginU12thManM1kelab_warrioraharpsterjamesoIIIdavidisabell
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.

    • 367
    • FAVS
    mmmaddierichcwbrowleytowelsWhiskeyPatSemitough23ianchurchill9Jonesyyyyapodixis
    • 1,005
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadatjaredcwbsandellskyWhiskeyPatSemitough23meatsock69warrenhenning
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    Drangulafearful_jesuitjjwhalesCall_Me_MarebirthfrombehindAGirlNamedSuzDanKCharnleyKarenBoBaren86
    • 1,051
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadKarenBoBaren86VonBrutal________bfuerstMEGraybush________krisseedangerisaactollhipsterboner
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.

    • 437
    • FAVS
    reemtheebeannStreetFish1DickFuraridanktroplisRTrevor213joemcmannusKarmaCleansing6clubtrillion
    • 882
    • RETWEETS
    b3thanykateStreetFish1trevfoutchDickFurariBigFanOfWebMorganLeighWeavJulio_DAMarkFrates
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Never understood why people count how many drinks they have. A real man drinks by body feel. More natural. Boozin' ain't math, you guys.

    • 337
    • FAVS
    dice_burgrowleytowelskyle_derksenjamestwitrsauceAGirlNamedSuzBonerWizardjustinshanesttp33
    • 978
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadJeffrayHDO_The_DooleWhiskeyPatFuckClintonAGirlNamedSuzstephenTpeelGregoryJames9
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    "Fireball Whisky gets you blackout bombed, but ready for a steamy makeout sesh if you don't have the spins and barf. That's Fireball."

    • 534
    • FAVS
    caleb_flaxjes26lynjesschristian10alondrrraaaA_Hanson13THEdiva4693DME17abbeyharbert
    • 755
    • RETWEETS
    fdubzouwinickmomRedEcritiqueDarrinYlisto1addsterrrrMeSoHornsbyCheesyCesarphan85
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?

    • 264
    • FAVS
    Madison_SagedematrinojohnboybailsMcNoodlieMichvel13travsiSlickNickSlogsemilytenshaw
    • 994
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadCLChildjclarkpolandtedbrooks2Michvel13GregBFG92RealCripplerJediMasterSam
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.

    • 385
    • FAVS
    GuzzJGJIwaniszynEsoxMasquinongyJoey_EffDanKCharnleynachnach5healsburgsjessepalmer
    • 863
    • RETWEETS
    GregBFG92ExcaliBrahhealsburgsjessepalmeryanelxavierrunforrestrun90JakeMoutyweajack
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you think it's "uncool" to love America, why don't you go see how "cool" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza.

    • 263
    • FAVS
    ryanpimentaljoshmikesmithWalshingtonDC_cameronh_3ECMcCargar591OnlyInBouldermnjrkConnorHolt28
    • 934
    • RETWEETS
    benittto3Favstar250Live_to_Win78HollyMantheiAnnieRaeeTedNugentsHairEvans658DReezy_2
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Wish I owned a TV store in Wisconsin tomorrow, you guys.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Skyhook59groanzonehidavectGizSalAliOuterJohnODheredinkykinkysetshot8
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    BDanahy14jeffwsilvaKentDriscollwienerbarfKiltyMacBagpipeKaptain_Kielnateboitano4erinhall
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you're drivin' around in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw, nobody's gonna say crap to ya except, "Whoa, there's a new sheriff in town."

    • 315
    • FAVS
    jamestwitrsauceSonofHilljackblueminivannJoshuaGreggapodixisBrownDevil3robypnolmeatsock69
    • 865
    • RETWEETS
    NolanMickeyFuckClintonblkedyCrazyUncleLarrybrittanyehollonSilastheViru5robypnolwarrenhenning
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Finished up the first scene of my Roadhouse remake starring Guy Fieri. Turned out badass. Check it out, you guys: http://t.co/hFE1Mhs2

    • 542
    • FAVS
    groanzoneElao256Aux_BussWaldenORUcroakelixirTheChadMountainJskennHover_Bored
    • 625
    • RETWEETS
    groanzoneElao256macseainHydro29TheHangingBrain211swillaBoilerBrendanTGM8954
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    ROADHOUSE 2012: PAIN STILL DON'T HURT (starring Guy Fieri) script is done! Time for a Friday celebraish, you guys. http://t.co/eC6eLli9

    • 628
    • FAVS
    groanzonechitwnLegMisterFlubamlwiffhidavecttboodry12arianneglavinaGizSalAli
    • 533
    • RETWEETS
    hiimjacobxsphericalmetalFlankKoochertrashnewtonMattLeVine21bryanptaylorBrittinghamLawtazarman
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.

    • 240
    • FAVS
    JonathanArguinMikeADagostinotlemcodmccarthy7hawks7651promisesxkepthidavectArronski
    • 910
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadBroadway_JohnnyDarnKidKevinMcGannonHeadLeinsgrt1214cwalter76robypnol
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin' burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.

    • 254
    • FAVS
    mpdowning7coozie303ClarkgroanzonenigelhotdoggKevinGehlWLNSdennymayowajiii
    • 883
    • RETWEETS
    groanzonenigelhotdoggFavstar250KevinGehlWLNSJizz_SexpertJOELIATH1erbricks_tridentKingHotDogMike__
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer, you guys.

    • 330
    • FAVS
    jnagroyaykyleyesthisispaigeNicklyJimboMDJickBogrenmarcusaharondmccarthy7
    • 795
    • RETWEETS
    JakeTurnerisRadtpetrJickBogrenGregBFG92GoldyManBronzythesh0ck3rrobypnoldanielleneftin
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If Paul Ryan got butt passioned by a crack animal & had to shoot a sin baby out his peener, he might understand the meaning of "religion."

    • 435
    • FAVS
    clebbinsOops_Magooapodixistad711groanzonepatrickkiesnerNUDE_COPacrotalusa________
    • 650
    • RETWEETS
    Jeffm8rFluddanTrueChupacabroBasicForestterminalhzacrotalusa________Chad_Zillac2d83
@DadBoner

@DadBoner

Can't wait for the weekend!