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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Should sell 12 packs with 4 Sam Adams & 8 Bud Lights. Tasties to start and domestos for smooth sailin' home. Call it, "The Professional."

    • 799
    • FAVS
    oldsaggytwitsBurds_1DickFurarijohnboybailsBrewWinsheyitschrismscottstoltzjjwhales
    • 1,626
    • RETWEETS
    oldsaggytwitsMyNameIsJakeMan__phatjmPaskoKMjjwhalesFrankNevanenCobbsComedyClubMorganLeighWeav
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.

    • 549
    • FAVS
    Burds_1gf3mediumflowJumpOnMyTutukyle_derksenjjwhalesaruacosfuck_new_jersey
    • 1,578
    • RETWEETS
    MyNameIsJakeMan__krista1115carlosambertCobbsComedyClubkylewildGregBFG92MattSchulte6rob_morris85
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.

    • 397
    • FAVS
    KristinHuckabeeLaBaPeteLandonnn21lnevanenFrankNevanenNicklybirthfrombehindDanKCharnley
    • 1,117
    • RETWEETS
    Th3PezDispencerTwatterOtterMyNameIsJakeMan__WhiskeyPatlnevanencaaarltonFrankNevanenCobbsComedyClub
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Bet MLK'd be so proud of that Sherman guy right now. Man. So powerful. With the heat of a thousand black suns.

    • 616
    • FAVS
    MrBelvebeardMcMullenCPAA_Hanson13BarryHobbsJrVonChoondjfresh47gambit_1AceDollarkill
    • 860
    • RETWEETS
    anonymous223344slamdangerfieldRob_SwagginUMichaelBullenelab_warrioraharpsterjamesoIIIdavidisabell
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.

    • 448
    • FAVS
    BAberams_GuzzJGJIwaniszynEsoxMasquinongyJoey_EffDanKCharnleynachnach5healsburgs
    • 1,024
    • RETWEETS
    GregBFG92ExcaliBrahhealsburgsjessepalmeryanelxavierrunforrestrun90JakeMoutyweajack
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.

    • 367
    • FAVS
    mmmaddierichcwbrowleytowelsWhiskeyPatSemitough23ianchurchill9Jonesyyyyapodixis
    • 1,005
    • RETWEETS
    MyNameIsJakeMan__atjaredcwbsandellskyWhiskeyPatSemitough23meatsock69warrenhenning
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    Drangulafearful_jesuitjjwhalesCall_Me_MarebirthfrombehindAGirlNamedSuzDanKCharnleyKarenBoBaren86
    • 1,051
    • RETWEETS
    MyNameIsJakeMan__KarenBoBaren86VonBrutal________bfuerstMEGraybush________krisseedangerisaactollhipsterboner
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin' burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.

    • 290
    • FAVS
    The_Dorkster______cloudypianosmpdowning7coozie303ClarkgroanzonenigelhotdoggKevinGehlWLNS
    • 1,038
    • RETWEETS
    groanzonenigelhotdoggFavstar250KevinGehlWLNSJizz_SexpertJOELIATH1erbricks_tridentKingHotDogMike____
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.

    • 438
    • FAVS
    lindseykarpBurds_1reemtheebeannStreetFish1DickFuraridanktropliswhitesox213joemcmannus
    • 882
    • RETWEETS
    b3thanykateStreetFish1trevfoutchDickFurariBigFanOfWebMorganLeighWeavJulio_DAMarkFrates
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Never understood why people count how many drinks they have. A real man drinks by body feel. More natural. Boozin' ain't math, you guys.

    • 339
    • FAVS
    _yle_obsonBurds_1dice_burgrowleytowelskyle_derksenjamestwitrsauceAGirlNamedSuzBonerWizard
    • 978
    • RETWEETS
    MyNameIsJakeMan__JeffrayHDO_The_DooleWhiskeyPatFuckClintonAGirlNamedSuzstephenTpeelGregoryJames9
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.

    • 258
    • FAVS
    JonathanArguinMikeADagostinotlemcodmccarthy7hawks7651promisesxkepthidavectArronski
    • 1,044
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar250Th3PezDispencerMyNameIsJakeMan__Broadway_JohnnyDarnKidKevinMcGannonHeadLeinsgrt1214
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    "Fireball Whisky gets you blackout bombed, but ready for a steamy makeout sesh if you don't have the spins and barf. That's Fireball."

    • 535
    • FAVS
    Burds_1caleb_flaxjes26lynjesschristian10alondrrraaaA_Hanson13THEdiva4693DME17
    • 755
    • RETWEETS
    vintagevandahmGrunz2389fdubzouwinickmomRedEcritiqueDarrinYlisto1addsterrrrMeSoHornsby
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer, you guys.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    Burds_1jnagroyaykyleyesthisispaigeNicklyJimboMDJickBogrenmarcusaharon
    • 908
    • RETWEETS
    Th3PezDispencercodah101MyNameIsJakeMan__tpetrJickBogrenGregBFG92GoldyManBronzythesh0ck3r
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?

    • 265
    • FAVS
    Burds_1Madison_SagedematrinojohnboybailsMcNoodlieMichvel13travsiSlickNickSlogs
    • 994
    • RETWEETS
    kotzbearMyNameIsJakeMan__CLChildjclarkpolandtedbrooks2Michvel13GregBFG92RealCrippler
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    A real USA man knows how to give a firm handshake, can do at least 10 'shups, shoot a whisky, and change a tire. If you can't, you're a boy.

    • 276
    • FAVS
    BrandinBearAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 971
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar250Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If Paul Ryan got butt passioned by a crack animal & had to shoot a sin baby out his peener, he might understand the meaning of "religion."

    • 496
    • FAVS
    KevinMcGannonclebbinsOops_Magooapodixistad711groanzonepatrickkiesnernude_cop
    • 744
    • RETWEETS
    Jeffm8rFluddanTrueChupacabroEdwardAssangeterminalhzacrotalusa________Chad_Zillac2d83
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you think it's "uncool" to love America, why don't you go see how "cool" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza.

    • 263
    • FAVS
    ryanpimentaljoshmikesmithWalshingtonDC_cameronh_3ECMcCargar591OnlyInBouldermnjrkConnorHolt28
    • 934
    • RETWEETS
    benittto3Favstar250TheReturnOfRyanHollyMantheiAnnieRaeeTedNugentsHairEvans658DReezy_2
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Wish I owned a TV store in Wisconsin tomorrow, you guys.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    Skyhook59groanzonehidavectGizSalAliOuterJohnODheredinkykinkysetshot8
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    BDanahy14jeffwsilvaKentDriscollwienerbarfKiltyMacBagpipeKaptain_Kielnateboitano4erinhall
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you're drivin' around in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw, nobody's gonna say crap to ya except, "Whoa, there's a new sheriff in town."

    • 315
    • FAVS
    jamestwitrsauceSonofHilljackblueminivannJoshuaGreggapodixisBrownDevil3robypnolmeatsock69
    • 865
    • RETWEETS
    NolanMickeyFuckClintonblkedyCrazyUncleLarrybrittanyehollonSilastheViru5robypnolwarrenhenning
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Finished up the first scene of my Roadhouse remake starring Guy Fieri. Turned out badass. Check it out, you guys: http://t.co/hFE1Mhs2

    • 542
    • FAVS
    groanzoneElao256Aux_BussWaldenORUcroakelixirTheChadMountainJskennHover_Bored
    • 625
    • RETWEETS
    groanzoneElao256macseainHydro29TheHangingBrain211swillaBoilerBrendanTGM8954
@DadBoner

@DadBoner

Can't wait for the weekend!