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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Gift @DadBoner Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 801
    • LIKES
    VickyLay_scotthenrybrittapowellgeniusadmirerdeKenstructionoldsaggytwitsBurds_1DickFurari
    • 1,629
    • RETWEETS
    kvnduganBrandon93Smithfavstar_historyweepindudeoldsaggytwitsMyNameIsJakeMan__phatjmPaskoKM
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down.

    • 550
    • LIKES
    thecranberrymanGregBFG92Burds_1gf3mediumflowJumpOnMyTutu__kyle_derksenjjwhales
    • 1,580
    • RETWEETS
    Brandon93SmithweepindudeMyNameIsJakeMan__krista1115carlosambertCobbsComedyClubkylewildGregBFG92
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.

    • 303
    • LIKES
    bullyslasherDrangulafearful_jesuit__jjwhalesCall_Me_MarebirthfrombehindAGirlNamedSuzDanKCharnley
    • 1,235
    • RETWEETS
    bullyslasherMyNameIsJakeMan__KarenBoBaren86VonBrutal________bfuerstMEGraybush________krisseedangercaasi_llot
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Told work I gotta split for a business appointment. 'Cause drinkin' cold ones is my business, and business is good, you guys.

    • 398
    • LIKES
    GregBFG92KristinHuckabeeLaBaPeteblaselandonlnevanenFrankNevanenNicklybirthfrombehind
    • 1,119
    • RETWEETS
    Brandon93SmithweepindudeTh3PezDispencerTwatterOtterMyNameIsJakeMan__WhiskeyPat__lnevanencaaarlton
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Just put some booze in a container that doesn't look like it's booze, then go shoppin.' Now you got a shoptail.

    • 369
    • LIKES
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    • 1,118
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Bet MLK'd be so proud of that Sherman guy right now. Man. So powerful. With the heat of a thousand black suns.

    • 616
    • LIKES
    MrBelvebeardMcMullenCPAA_Hanson13BarryHobbsJr__VonChoondjfresh47gambit_1AceDollarkill
    • 860
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.

    • 449
    • LIKES
    Mickster_90hop_king1288DoctorAhluwaliaGregBFG92BAberams_GuzzJGJIwaniszynEsoxMasquinongy
    • 1,025
    • RETWEETS
    Brandon93SmithGregBFG92ExcaliBrahhealsburgsjessepalmeryanelxavierrunforrestrun90JakeMouty__
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.

    • 368
    • LIKES
    GregBFG92mmmaddierichcwbrowleytowelsWhiskeyPat__Semitough23ianchurchill9Jonesyyyy
    • 1,006
    • RETWEETS
    weepindudeMyNameIsJakeMan__atjaredcwbsandellskyWhiskeyPat__Semitough23SPORTSLlKER
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin' burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.

    • 290
    • LIKES
    The_Dorkster______cloudypianosmpdowning7coozie303Clark__groanzonenigelhotdoggKevinGehlTV
    • 1,038
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.

    • 440
    • LIKES
    GregBFG92pdzellerBeBetterStupidlindseykarp__Burds_1reemtheebeannStreetFish1__DickFurari
    • 883
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Never understood why people count how many drinks they have. A real man drinks by body feel. More natural. Boozin' ain't math, you guys.

    • 340
    • LIKES
    GregBFG92_yle_obsonBurds_1dice_burghrowleytowelskyle_derksenjamestwitrsauceAGirlNamedSuz
    • 979
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do 'shups 'til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.

    • 262
    • LIKES
    THEdickhatchchealy1986GregBFG92deKenstructionJonathanArguinMikeADagostinotlemcodmccarthy7
    • 1,047
    • RETWEETS
    Brandon93SmithTheMikeSoaresTHEdickhatchFavstar250Th3PezDispencerMyNameIsJakeMan__Broadway_JohnnyDarnKid
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    "Fireball Whisky gets you blackout bombed, but ready for a steamy makeout sesh if you don't have the spins and barf. That's Fireball."

    • 536
    • LIKES
    GreenAndGoldyGregBFG92Burds_1caleb_flaxjes26lynjesschristian10alondrrraaaA_Hanson13
    • 755
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If the world wants to flush you down the toilet, just be the king of the sewer, you guys.

    • 383
    • LIKES
    thirdrain_GregBFG92BeBetterStupidBurds_1jnagroyaykyleyesthisispaigeNickly
    • 908
    • RETWEETS
    thirdrain_winstondoyaleTh3PezDispencercodah101MyNameIsJakeMan__tpetrJickBogrenGregBFG92
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you're drivin' around in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw, nobody's gonna say crap to ya except, "Whoa, there's a new sheriff in town."

    • 330
    • LIKES
    Ellen75MadalynTheMikeSoaresGregBFG92BeBetterStupidjamestwitrsauceSonofHilljackreggiechillballJoshuaGregg
    • 944
    • RETWEETS
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Gatorpagne: half champagne, half Gatorade, because hydration don't need a reason to celebrate, you guys. Is it in you?

    • 266
    • LIKES
    GregBFG92Burds_1Madison_SagedematrinojohnboybailsMcNoodlieMichvel13__travsi
    • 994
    • RETWEETS
    VIPonSwolecakotzMyNameIsJakeMan__CLChildjclarkpolandtedbrooks2Michvel13__GregBFG92
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    A real USA man knows how to give a firm handshake, can do at least 10 'shups, shoot a whisky, and change a tire. If you can't, you're a boy.

    • 277
    • LIKES
    THEdickhatchGregBFG92BrandinBearTurquoise 3920978bc8e760e88ff1b5f4b6c6485504d54e627c683404ff5edcdd1965195bYellow a2fc443a5ac9ae917148a9977efe06043034528faa50c7c581d348fdaf095574Yellow a2fc443a5ac9ae917148a9977efe06043034528faa50c7c581d348fdaf095574Pink c7c724009e8f4d0c6d8805eefb4b89b9acb0f4821b615e8477b1ccce06f00489Red ce42bd876ca6a5984afb86010c411d0e766144e76a5584dae022d9f799b4884a
    • 971
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  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If Paul Ryan got butt passioned by a crack animal & had to shoot a sin baby out his peener, he might understand the meaning of "religion."

    • 496
    • LIKES
    KevinMcGannonclebbinsOops_Magooapodixistad711groanzonepatrickkiesnernude_cop
    • 744
    • RETWEETS
    Jeffm8rFluddanTrueChupacabroAuroraTroll__terminalhzacrotalusa________Chad_Zillac2d83
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    If you think it's "uncool" to love America, why don't you go see how "cool" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza.

    • 264
    • LIKES
    brewer_jordanBeBetterStupidryanpimentaljoshmikesmithWalshingtonDC_cameronh_3ECMcCargar591OnlyInBoulder
    • 935
    • RETWEETS
    kvnduganwill_beierbenittto3Favstar250TheReturnOfRyan__HollyMantheiAnnieRaee__TedNugentsHair
  • DadBoner
      Karl Welzein @DadBoner

    Wish I owned a TV store in Wisconsin tomorrow, you guys.

    • 202
    • LIKES
    Skyhook59groanzonehidavectGizSalAliOuterJohnODheredinkykinkysetshot8
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    BDanahy14jeffwsilvaKentDriscollwienerbarfKiltyMacBagpipeKaptain_Kielnateboitano4erinhall
@DadBoner

@DadBoner

Can't wait for the weekend!

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