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Sarah Palin may run for the Senate in 2014. Several others already planning to run in 2016 or 2017 after she quits.
It's ironic that so many NASCAR fans are afraid of other races.
Do call it a comeback.
I want to get a job at a funeral parlor so I can say "What do I have to do to put you in this coffin today?" to customers.
I'm surprised that more people don't shoot at the signs on Target stores.
While I was off Twitter, I wrote a book, finished my PHD, and learned to speak Swahili........Or I played about 200 hours of "Fallout"
Twitter keeps telling me I'm "similar" to some people who don't actually tweet anymore. Is that a hint?
Each time I think I've heard the dumbest thing ever said.......I say something else.
Tweet like no one is reading.
Here, I'll show you how.
I'll just say it, Betty Ford was more fun before she got sober.
My favorite part of writing a tweet is thinking of 5 ways to improve it.
After it's already posted.
I got kicked out of graduate school because I wrote an antithesis.
There are several birds in my yard. They all seem to be alive right now.
I'll keep you posted.
"Stop me before I say too much"..............Nobody on Twitter. Ever.
Most of my major decisions should be accompanied by the sad trombone.
My muscles are rock hard but I'm pretty sure it's just because they're stale.
Once a day I go outside so I can see if my iPad weather app is accurate.
Falling down drunk sounds bad. I prefer to call it spontaneous trust-falls with people I haven't met yet.
Over 100 degrees in Washington again today. If they made Congress meet outside, they would balance the budget in about an hour.