@DadsUpLate's most faved Tweets...
I just mixed Absolut Cranberry with 5 hour energy drink. I don't know what to call this shit.........but who's up for a road trip to Alaska?
Yes officer, I did hit a pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed?
Hey Twitter, in honor of National Grammar Day how about you stop saying tweets occurred "about 1 hours ago"?
I star some of your tweets in the hopes that when you inevitably snap, it won't be me you kill first.
Every time I accidentally sit through the commercials of a show recorded on my DVR, part of me dies.
Remember those kids that weren't allowed to sit at the "Cool" table in high school? I follow most of them now.
Wife: Have you heard of Twitter? Me: What's for dinner? Wife: No, Twitter? Me: You look nice today. Wife: Twitter! And then I ran away.
I bought my kid a teething ring. When she used it, I noticed that it vibrates. Yes, I just bought my infant daughter a vibrator. Shit.
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