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The Duggars' just added one more kid to their family. Bringing the grand total to unbelievably fucking gross.
An elephant in Zimbabwe trampled a hunter to death today. The elephant said he killed the man to help with human over population.
Someone just cut me off in traffic and I pulled up alongside to mean-mug/get a good look at the person and it was AN ACTUAL CLOWN.
I'll start being scared of artificial intelligence when they make a robot that doesn't walk like it just crapped its pants.
A durable box you could re-seal over and over again and never have to recycle or throw out? Let's do this @ups https://twitter.com/upshelp/status/589117117687037952 …
Only rule of LA: your diet must be eccentric.
I'm glad I don't have to date birds because I have no idea which ones are even hot.
Thank you new emojis, we've all been hounding you for an Albino Sikh. 👳🏻
Comedy in 2015 needs a severe motherfucking shakeup. No celebrities, no parodies, no pranks, no mash-ups or hashtag wars. I'm fat.
Writer for Family Guy
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