Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I always, ALWAYS cut up my six-pack rings before I throw them in the ocean.
A simple way to tell if you're overpaying a baseball player.
1. Did you outbid the Yankees?
2. Then yes.
It's gonna be so fun when you order the book 1984 and it's delivered by an Amazon Drone.
Uh excuse me that's not "jelly," it's berry compote. And that's not "mayo," it's lemon aioli. And I'm not a "person," I'm an empty shell.
You name it, my mother knows somebody who died of it.
I wonder if they're making an Anchorman 2.
Unless you pulled your dog from a burning car that was dangling off a bridge, you didn't 'rescue' it. You 'got' it.
A Time Warner guy just ended our call by saying "God bless you and everyone you love."
Nothing is certain but death, taxes and improv troupe photos with one guy making the "whaddya gonna do?" face.
If you're shitty to me in a dream, I'm hating you IRL for 3 days. Sorry, but my unconscious just "gets it."
Did you know? It's actually illegal to take out a lease on a BMW unless you are the worst.
Whenever I have to listen to a corporate lady give a sexual harassment seminar, I like to yell out "show us your tits!"
Texting and driving is dangerously distracting women in L.A. from applying makeup and driving.
tv, radio host / comedian / writer for http://someecards.com / co-host of hulu's the morning after / 3-7pm on 104.3 MYfm