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DMB > Phish
u should be able to click someones verified check and it takes u to a page that explains why
Why don't they hire sumo wrestlers as hockey goalies?
So if you own a podium and write the word "valet" on it, you can just steal cars?
You should be able to throw someone a "go away" party.
If there is one thing that 12 years of catholic school taught me, it's "Boy, I'm a piece of shit. "
I love babies once they hit the age when there's something in it for me.
There is no truer measure of how far we've fallen than this: school shootings don't even merit a dedicated news graphic anymore.
Don't worry, America. Ebola can't be transmitted by school shooting.
"I was nude in my room when Father first whispered through the door that he was allergic to wheat." - First line of my commencement speech.
I really hope Honey Boo Boo lands on her feet before one of them has to be amputated.
If you like hearing news professionals say "watery diarrhea," today's the day to turn on the TV.
Bumper stickers are Twitter for cars