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Probably my least favorite holiday.
I'm less shocked that Chelsea Handler did a "Putin on horseback" parody photo topless than that she did it in 2014.
FEEL FREE TO TORTURE YOUR CHILD FOR THE SAKE OF VIRAL CONTENT TODAY AND ALWAYS
I hope everyone in Los Angeles remembers to set their clocks back this weekend so they still won't be on time for anything
Aw, don't you look cute? But Batman doesn't speak Spanish, sweetie. Maybe you can valet the Batmobile.
if you ain't listening to "red right hand" 30x today, you're doing it wrong
And who are you supposed to be, little guy? Beyoncé! Wow! What a clever way to tell the world you're gay at five years old.
If u want to stop your motorcycle, u have to jump off it & let it crash because the second u put down the kickstand, u lose all coolness
This halloween remember to give trock or treaters nature's candy: dry carrots
Worried about what to be for Halloween? Check your I.D. If you're over 18, you don't have to be anything!
I'm going to work dressed as a guy who is dead inside. Been wearing the costume all week.
Tomorrow, we transition from Spooky Twitter Name Month to See Me Grow A Mustache Month. Watch My Doritos Commercial season is in the air!
PLEASE CAN WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING FOREVER? I NEVER WANT TO STOP HEARING WHAT EVERYONE THINKS ABOUT EVERYTHING!
Just saw a super weird lotion commercial with Shaq in it, and I feel like I need a doll to point where it inappropriately touched my soul.