Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Sorry I'm late, but my girlfriend's dad made me wrestle him outside a thrift store again and I got Juggalo makeup all over me.
please don't open up a new can of whoop ass when there is already an opened one in the refrigerator
damn girl are you a girl because you look like a girl
Sorry I wore sweatpants to your wedding.
When Tim Burton cuts himself shaving, instead of blood a bunch of spiders crawl out.
*kisses mac & cheese before each bite*
Dudes named Stefan know where to get cocaine.
This old man told me to "Go fly a kite!" So I did. It was everything I thought it was going to be & more. I never got a chance to thank him.
The only thing more important than friends and family is making sure you always look cool as hell.
a mustache is just mouth bangs
IT'S FRIDAY & IT'S TIME TO PARTY!!
*sips water with no ice*
*charges cell phone*
*replaces ink cartridge in home printer*
He died doing what he loved: arguing with people on Facebook about healthcare.
I'll bet Harrison Ford tucks his earring into a tiny bed at night and gives it a kiss.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
I only brush the teeth that people can see...which is none, because smiling is a sign of weakness.
My gf always takes a "long bath" after a Ryan Gosling movie. I don't get it, but it does give me plenty of time to beat off to Ryan Gosling.
I got kicked out of a gang because of my foot odor problem. Okay, it wasn't a gang, it was my pottery club...but it still hurts.
IT'S SATURDAY & IT'S TIME TO PARTY!!
*washes fanny packs on gentle cycle*
*enjoys 3 chili dogs*
*plays "Duck Hunt" for several hours*
It's weird that you need money to stay alive.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
#1 standup comic. writer ordinaire. prolific reader. danny writes his bio in the 3rd-person & pretends someone else did it. people say danny is damn cool
Like @DanKCharnley’s tweets? Extend their Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Extend their Pro!