Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
sentence structure possibly, or syntax is one of my many of my problems, the biggest, maybe, of them
FOUR exclamation points? Seems more like a three exclamation point kind of thing.
*swims very close to a shark*
Shark: "I have a boyfriend."
Follow you're dreams, kids. Follow you're dreams.
I got kicked out of another gang for selling the wrong color lemonade in front of the trap house.
What idiot called it a championship belt instead of a Fanny Pacquiao?
I don't make jokes about death because death killed my father.
I was doing squats-thrusts on my roof when skateboard punk yolo teens did tricks off my Miata. I got in "ready stance" & they laughed at me.
What ever happened to clouds 1-8?
Sensible dad: I'd like to buy 3 'fleeks' & 7 'swags' for my son.
"Sir this is Urban Outfitters"
Do you have any 'baes'?
I wish I could restore my liver to its original factory settings.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
*stuffs balls into condom*
"Yeah I do sex a lot."
*reaches for 2nd condom*
"Why? Is this your first time?"
My gf always takes a "long bath" after a Ryan Gosling movie. I don't get it, but it does give me plenty of time to beat off to Ryan Gosling.
Before I die, I hope I have legitimately uttered the phrase, ”Please, sir, you are standing on my cape” atleast once.
more like mac-a-lonely and cheese
Is your next door neighbor quiet, friendly and stays to himself? Be careful, that's definitely a serial killer.
please don't open up a new can of whoop ass when there is already an opened one in the refrigerator
My cats don't realize how easily I could break their necks, but they also don't realize how easily they could break my heart.
If Pitbull has a "Greatest Hits" CD, I will burn the planet down.
President of Stand-up Comedy • Artist • #1 • Producer of Music • Avid Reader of Smut • Dan writes his bio in the 3rd-person & pretends someone else did it.
Like @DanKCharnley’s tweets? Extend their Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Extend their Pro!