Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
slow down, sensei, i didn't sign up for this karate class to learn self-defense i signed up to learn how to kick my dad's ass
want to change the world? start with the person in the mirror with the mustard stain on their sweatpants
I only brush the teeth that people can see...which is none, because smiling is a sign of weakness.
"It's what's on the inside that really matters."
My gf always takes a "long bath" after a Ryan Gosling movie. I don't get it, but it does give me plenty of time to beat off to Ryan Gosling.
My sex life is basically the woman shushing in the theater when the "Gracie Films" card comes up at the end of the Simpsons.
This fight will only have two hits: me hitting you and you hitting me back, instantly killing me.
White people drinking game: Watch a #Madea movie and drink every time you don't understand a reference.
The press is gonna have a field day with this tweet.
Your neck-beard must be at least this long to work at Hot Topic.
Guy Fieri is just sweat, carbohydrates and cocaine slapped together with a bunch of thumb-rings.
roses are red
violets are blue
i can tell the difference
between red & blue
the only thing more important than friends & family is looking really cool & swag
wait why is Busta Rhymes leaving the field?
i just need a few more interesting things to happen to me in my life and i'll have a solid paragraph
got kicked out of another gang for bringing spinach casserole to the trap house
it takes a very strong man to admit that he can lift a boulder
It's weird that you need money to stay alive.
spice things up in your relationship by sending a "sexual text" or a "penis photo"
science fact: women pee sitting down and poop standing up
#1. comedian. writer. magician's assistant. danny usually writes his bio in the 3rd-person & pretends someone else did it. people say danny's very funny & great