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My sinuses are killing me. Not feeling very Gangsta right now :/
I "matched" with a guy on Bumble just so I could tell him he's holding his dachshund incorrectly in his pic's.
I'm on a date I don't want to be on. Quick one of you text me with an emergency!
Your inspirational tweets would probs come across stronger if they didn't contain typos.
An open letter to Trump supporters:
So hysterical on the train today when I pulled my headphones outta my purse and a tampon was caught in them. Hahaha!!!
A girl near me on the bus is texting with someone in her phone named "Fart Monster." I guess parents are running out of names?
Guys I'm still scared of Christian Bale 😫
Thought of a hilarious tweet when I was getting a massage before but can't remember it. It was so good!
Sometimes I'll take a moment & think about how I don't have parents or grandparents around & then I'll stuff a bunch of donuts in my face.
A dude on my train has a bag with 6 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies and is about to get the sh*t beat out of him.
Sometimes I swipe right because of the dog in his pics.
What's a polite way to ask a guy on OkCupid if the friend in his pic is available?!
Another successful bra removal, in the middle of a party, without anyone noticing. 👍🏽
Oh man, this is perfect dog-stalking weather!
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno
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