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Ugh, it's so just hard to find a loving DJ who's ready to settle down.
I remember when "feel the bern (burn)" meant you had an STD.
According to my horoscope, my moon is in my pants.
Once a guy asked to see my caucus on the first date. That was the last time that ever happened.
In 8th grade, I missed a week of school bc I had the caucus.
A date asked if he could bring anything to my place so I told him toilet paper and apparently that makes me "weird" - whatever.
Serious question: Is Melania Trump blind?
When you're at a spa with your boss and accidentally see her bush. Anyhoo, have a great weekend everyone!
My favorite part of traveling is clapping every time the plane lands.
I've been in Jamaica two days and have already stepped on so many penises.
Whoever invented sex is a freakin genius!
I'd do fine alone on a dessert island.
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno
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