Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm a LOT younger in dog years.
Tap to snooze
In the mood for 82 pieces of bread? No problem. Order a club sandwich.
To the guy who just messaged me on OK Cupid "you look mad yummy" - you are the one for whom I'll disable my account. My heart is yours.
I bet Earth is gonna like my present the most. It's homemade.
That's it! I'm starting another "banana clip" movement, ASAP.
Even the dogs in Williamsburg have beards and tattoos.
They say Jesus died for our sins - but let's face it - I mean, the guy was gonna go anyway. No one lives for eternity.
I told all the kids in my family that if they fall asleep tonight, the Easter Bunny will hide eggs in their butts.
After purchasing tampons at Rite-Aid, the clerk said, "Enjoy."
Richard Simmons hasn't called me back in like a week.
Some really great dick pics out there. Keep up the good work, guys!
What's a proper etiquette response to an old friend confessing a long time crush on u & asking if u'd have a 3-some w/ he & his wife?
Hey everyone - Wednesday's canceled. Go back to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow.
From the sound of things, I'd guess the woman in the stall next to me had chili for dinner.
One thing New Yorker's love during their commute is when someone brings their bike on the train.
Have some fun at your next dentist appt! Stare into the hygienist's eyes the whole time she's cleaning your teeth.
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno