Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Hey guys - Gonna have a "Twitter Crush" position opening up soon. Send your resumes & I'll schedule an interview if you pass. Good luck!
"Cucumber looking now" instead of "I'm looking now?!" Really, autocorrect, you dick?!?!
If there is not a roller derby team in San Francisco named "Gay City Rollers" then I don't want to live in this forsaken country.
Sweet lightning bolt on your Chevy Cavalier, bro.
FACT: Guys who use electronics that require a stylus, name their sons Chad.
If you really like a guy, say "You make me smile. Down there." and point to your crotch. He'll go crazy for you!
Fact: The Spanish enjoy playing Connect Cuatro.
If I worked at Fed Ex & a hot guy walked in I'd be all like "Hey, handsome. You want me to track your package?" and wink all sexy like.
I'm meeting up with a Lesbian friend for brunch today. Got waxed just in case.
I swear! When I finally get to have sex, I'll probs yell "TOUCHDOWN" when it's over.
I stabbed a Mother of 3 and will be "away" for a while - but it was worth it to get $14.99 of this Bose iPod dock.
Guys - If Kony gets into trouble again, I got dibs on tweeting "KONI KONE KONY has done it again". Thx.
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno