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I downloaded that 'Couch to 5K' app but is there a 'Couch to Front Door' app I can do first?
It'd be cool if there was some kind of dog club I could go to just to pet some dogs on a Saturday night.
Idk, guys. Sometimes I feel like Alf's the only one who gets me.
Never imagined I'd be sitting on the subway next to a window-licker. Yet, here I am...
So many people smell their dogs paws to get that Frito™ smell but but all they gotta do is ride the G train.
Oh cool, playing soccer at 40 is just like having a bad hangover cos I can't move for three days.
Too embarrassed to walk past roomie with my Haagen Dazs pint and put 1/2 in the freezer so I'm forced to finish it.
In search of a life couch.
FYI, Party City is sold out of the 'Sexy Isis' costume.
It must feel so good to not give that much of af you can walk around an airport wearing your neck pillow.
By law, construction guys can only listen to classic rock.
Zipcar is great if you all you need to transport is a package of frozen peas.
It's funny how when a family is about to fight, they jump in the car and go to Target to do it.
I'm having a GREAT hair day! Can't wait to get home and show my couch.
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno
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