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More like Ted Snooze, am I right?!
Billie Holidays' full name was William Holiday.
My safe word is 'buttermilk'
Signed up on FetLife so I can find a slave to do my laundry.
Look, if following a strange man home, because he smells nice, is wrong then I don't want to be right.
CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP: my eating motto.
Was on a work-related conference call from home and forgot to mute when I flushed the toilet. So there's that...
What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute? Oh yeah…39
Not saying I'm considering it... but, what kind of medical and dental do ISIS provide?
Idk - somehow I feel like Lorenzo Llamas is behind this whole thing.
Ass bleaching? No, thank you.
Nipple Darkening? Go ahead, I'm listening...
Woke up this morning with a John Mayer song in my head. I guess this is how it ends...
My Catholic co-workers got all pissy Wednesday when I put cigarette ashes on their foreheads. Geeze, I was just trying to save them time!
We sent people to the moon - yet we can't figure how to be able to eat pasta everyday and not gain weight. Such bullsh*t.
I don't know... sometimes I get bummed my rap career isn't exactly where I want it to be, ya know?!
Oh cool. I've officially entered the weight class "Husky."
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno
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