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Pretty sure "coitus" is a word that can be removed from our vocabulary.
Who me?! Oh just holding this bull dick so my dog can chew on it.
More holograms of dead people please.
I'm currently in the process of learning there is no limit to the amount of pizza and ice cream one can consume.
Just walked past a really nice woman yelling into her phone "You supposed to look like a white boy - you is a white boy!"
It's Turn Down for "Whom"
Oh cool, just got another snapchat from someone who already sent 14 today!
Seriously tho - like who thought to invent tampons?!
As soon as I see people with tattoos of Chinese characters I know instantly they're down to earth and p cool.
Vegans worship Seitan.
*The sound of chewing a banana. Slowly*
I'm gonna put a hit out on the next person who invites me to play a game on FB.
Gonna be making a sex tape this weekend - what's the best camera to use?
I'm getting fishnets tattooed on my legs.
Idk guys, I'm just concerned you're not flossing enough.
Tonight we're gonna party like its 1776!
As much as I love cheese - I'm just not digging the aroma coming from the woman next to me on the train.
A guy messaged me on OK Cupid "What are you looking for Dana?" so I responded honestly & said "My keys, have you seen them?" No response yet
I GOT IT! A Chinese cooking school called "Wok This Way"!
Haha so long sucka's I'm gonna be a millionaire!!!
I was 24 when I learned my pee hole is separate from the other one and I love spaghetti & meatballs. Vine: Dana Bruno