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Hey, listen up. If I text you & 5 hours later you still haven't replied but you've tweeted 38 times, you can go play with a gun.
Hey, ladies, if you look like a snake swallowed a rib cage you're too skinny.
I don't give up on people I care about. If I'm in your life it's because I want to see you thrive & fly. #simpletruth
There should be a law saying if you can unequivocally prove you've given someone all your love & they crush your heart you can murder them.
If a girl likes you she'll show it by never showing it. That's when you really know. It could also mean she doesn't like you at all.
If you're single on Valentine's Day, see a couple holding hands, run through the middle & yell, "I'VE BROKEN THE SPELL! BE FREE!"
Breakfast Club has a 40 minute library scene, all dialogue, that’s more interesting, compelling & entertaining than most movies today.
If someone takes more then 4 hours to respond to you texting "u wanna hang out" they better be dead, dying or almost dead or almost dying.
"You know life is worth the struggle when you look back on what you lost, and realize what you have now is way better than before." -unknown
I like make-up sex but prefer you're-never-gonna-win-this-argument-babe-so-stop-sulking-let's-bang-then-go-eat sex.
If you like texting while you drive you might also enjoy brushing your teeth with a gun or wiping your ass with a chainsaw.
Pinterest is girl porn.
Somebody needs to invent a way to punch another person in the throat via Internet.
Some people brighten up a room by leaving it.
I love October. It's like the Saturday of months.
Girls fake orgasms. Guys fake relationships.