Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Red tank top....... bright purple bra showing............. I am the Carrie Bradshaw of Ohio.
I am glad that my boyfriend doesn't have a problem with me being someones wife....... that could get awkward.
I'm a great girlfriend...... it's any hole you want Friday at our house.
My legs are so smooth that babies asses everywhere are jealous.
If you have little cherries on your panties and they say tasty........... give them back to me you thief.
Rumor has it that anger is all the rage now.
I am about to shower and shave, then I plan on seducing my fella...... Naked and freshly shaved is the new "how you doing?" right?
Making him pull out........ that's how I birth control.
Thinking about blowing off work for the rest of the morning and go blow my fella instead. either way a job is a job.... right?
National Hamburger Day is today so everyone spread those buns for the meat.
I wonder what flavor milkshake is best at bringing all the boys to my yard cuz you know......... it needs mowed and all.
♫ I throw my waffles up in the air sometimes....... Saying AYO..... Leggo my Eggo!!!! ♫
I think my boyfriend must be on his period since we haven't had sex in a few days. The bleeding whore.
I wonder if BP has a new ocean on lay-a-way they plan on surprising us with on Christmas.
It's so cold out that my nipples are like deadly weapons and I will cut a bitch with them if needed.
well....... I am out for the night....... gotta hot date with a lawyer in the AM and hope I walk away DIVORCED! night night Twitterland!
Glee is on my TV......
<this is the beginning of my suicide note>
In honor of the Flintstones 50th anniversary, you can yell out "BAM! BAM! BAM!" while you do me from behind.
Mother of 5 girls......... 3 who are on their period right now. Sorry N Korea, I have real issues over here.
Where can I trade some kids for margaritas?