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I hope Luke and those pesky rebels behave themselves today while the Empire is voting in a new Emperor.
I sweat a lot more when I wear a fleece, even when I am not warm. I am glad I am not a sheep. A lonely, society shunned sheep.
I am cold today. I am taking off all of my clothes so I can put them on when I go to the shop later. That way I'll fully feel the benefit.
I want you to imagine your parents completely naked. Then remember that you used to live in their genitals. You are welcome.
Why do drag queens always do two presses of the bell when they come to visit? The supposed man always rings twice.
Q: Do you know why Ming The Merciless used an iPhone? A: He agreed not to support Flash.
I tried to make sourdough bread yesterday. Left it proving over night. Doesn't seem to have risen much. Is that normal?
Don't you hate it when you think of a joke but consider it too saucy for twitter?
The phrase is "hoist by your own petard" not "hoisted". You have been hoist by your own pedant.
Someone's Had Too Much To Think. Writer, Voiceover, Actor, Silly Man. http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dan-life-coach/id487848756Writes too.