Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Now noticing that she was the one. On a scale of 1-10.
I found out why they're called Ugg boots! That's the noise guys make when they see girls wearing them.
CU. Keeping annoying girls out of CSU since 1877.
I didn't shower today because all the girls i'm trying to impress live in London. And i have a couple days till they can smell me.
I found a small bag of hair in a pair of jeans i wore in middle school. I don't know who's it is but it tasted fine.
I wonder if Jonny Craig still feels her in the county jail.
Got pulled over and the cop asked why i was going 90 in a 65. All i could say was "Sorry, shuffle played Milk Lizard."
If Hank Hill was a pro wrestler, his name would be Propain.
I've never thought jokes about women drivers were funny. Nothing funny about it at all. It's beginning to be a serious problem.
Tonight is like a cops Black Friday.
Santa: Spends one day a year working... Spends 364 days judging you.
"Woah, that songs catchy. I'll just play it on repeat for the rest of the day." -Brains
Does anyone have Emma Watson's phone number? thanks
Boobytrap is Partyboob backwards.
Got caught ridin' dirty. :(
I need to stop telling girls they look good when they dont
I find it Odd How People Shake.
Do the french get english phrases tattooed on thier ribs?
My name doesn't rhyme with anything that's not embarrassing.
iaevluuaeru9hq34uh.knjsadagoru (told my friend's cat to say something about me)